#fear of balloons popping

[globophobicligyrophobiccontent]

I'm not ready for my birthday

Since I started doing exposure therapy, and learning how much balloons can take, and how far can I go(Not a lot but enough for a globophobic), I wanted to have balloons at my birthday, not a lot, just some symbolic ones laying here and there.

I never had latex balloons at my birthdays, they're a little of a taboo topic for me in public and specially around my family, so I'm making my birthday a little private this year, and at a friend's house so my family doesn't know this and starts thinking I'm already over my phobia, wich I'm obviously not. I just wanna feel like a normal birthday for once, and I don't know if I'll have this chance in a while, so I'm doing it.

But lately, my brain is playing tricks on me and I'm started to doubt about this. I trust my friends and they won't do anything to scare me, that's a fact, but still, I can't control my overthinking.

Me and my 2 best friends are decorating, I'm in charge of the balloons so I know they won't be big, but what if they insist in helping? I'm not ready for people I know handling balloons.

And with that comes point 2, my boyfriend and friends touching the balloons, just imagining it makes me shiver so much.

Since this is part of my exposure therapy, I can touch them without fear, but I'm not comfortable with other people in general handling balloons, and I know my friends won't pop them, I'll still have them, I know I'm safe, but the feeling of watching friends, partners, or people you trust in general with balloons still icks me the wrong way, the fact that they can normally play or touch balloons makes me feel a little betrayed, it's a feeling hard to explain. I won't stop them unless they're trying to pop them because there's no danger.

So that's it, I just wanted to rant about this since it's almost just two weeks away from my birthday and time flies.

[pops-the-balloon]

*Pops has learned what bees are, and he's fucking scared*

[team-sleeps]

Me 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻 Dennis Reynolds over our shared hatred of loud and sudden noises

Just had a balloon pop right next to me and that bitch had me like

[quackle]

The fear challenge itself is pretty decent. It’s the character that are overall boring. While Wayne is decent (Fear to fight his best friend.) the other three are too basic.

I wish the challenge have two parts: The first part is their surface fear like what they fear (Snake, Lightning and Spider) and the second part is their inner fear (Things like fear to be betrayed or being along.)

But yes, it’s really is a lost opportunity for not having Damien here. I also want Scary Girl to be here as I am curious what’s she fears?

YEAH like there was potential in the challenge itself! it's just... the stuff they presented along with the character arcs each character was going through was so, well, boring.

when you compare that ep to something like the face your fears ep in season 1, you notice how bland it is. i suppose the ep would hit different if you liked that whole priya vs julia with caleb as the middleman plot, but for people like me, i was hoping to get more focus on the fears themselves. and like you said, some form of combination of surface level and inner fears, that would have been so interesting. or at least (once again) focus more on the fearsssss.

i'll never get over damien not being in that ep tho. like that opportunity was RIGHT there 😭 at least if he got eliminated in that ep he would have some more substance to his arc.

[lostneedcoopcake]

This is Balonee, the clown that is said you must cover your ears when it gets on stage...

Is it really balloons it holds or something more?

[4linos]

how they ask to marry you.

stray kids hyung line x gn!reader

synopsis: how stray kids hyung line proposes ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

wc: 1063 (maknae line ver.)

bang chan.. right from the start, you two decided to keep your relationship quiet and very private, with only a select few people—your parents, his parents, and of course the members—knowing. He had been able to arrange for your whole family to be flown from your home country to Australia, where you two had been going on "vacation." The night before your last day, he was sure that he had been acting weird to you, mostly because of nervousness, and he wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible. you two were taking a walk along a beach as the sun started to set, and you said, "oh look! someone looks like they're getting proposed to.” when you saw a long crimson carpet with candles and rose petals leading to a large illuminated sign that read, "will you marry me?" you exclaimed out. chan laughed and said, "let’s get closer?" with excitement, you nodded. until you realized he had started to walk ahead of you and you saw the familiar faces of both his and your families. when you got to him, he got down on one knee, held the ring, and began, "there are countless ways I could express my love for you, but I believe that what really counts is that I want to live out the rest of my days demonstrating to you how much you mean to me. I feel like I can handle anything with you by my side, even though I know life can be unpredictable and there are many obstacles in my path. Your love, your support, and your trust are more than I could have ever asked for. Will you marry me? For the remainder of our journey together, will you walk hand in hand with me?" you blurted out, "yes," without hesitation.

lee know.. everyone knew you two were going to be together for a long time from the minute you two became a couple. no one has ever seen minho so enamored of someone as he was with you. since you two started dating, you had taken vacations together, so when he told you he wanted to spend the weekend at a cabin, you didn't suspect anything. However, when he urged you to get your nails done and purchase a formal outfit for a dinner, you began to feel suspicious.

after finishing the meal that minho had cooked for you on the last night of your weekend, you were making your way back up to your cabin from outside. "That was delicious, Min. thank you," you said as you placed your dish in the sink. "You're welcome, love." You paused before kissing him when you heard a pop come from your cabin bedroom. "What the hell was that?" you shrieked in fear "You wait here, and I'll check." Before you could object, he hurried up to the bedroom and said, "Y/n!" He yelled from upstairs, startling you, and you snatched up whatever weapon you could just in case. When you entered, you noticed lit candles, white balloons, and petals spread out in a heart shape. "Oh my God, Minho! You—" "I want to go through every high and every low with you, even though I know life won't always be perfect. No matter what, I want to stay by your side forever. Will you marry me?” lowering himself to one knee and smiling warmly while offering the ring, and saying, "this is it, no turning back." before you said yes, you kissed him.

changbin.. had always been open about his relationship with you even though dispatch had knowingly exposed your relationship, he was the one who confirmed it and asked everyone to respect your privacy and his relationship with you. you two had been dating for five years, but he knew he wanted to marry you since you stayed with him despite all the bad headlines that had been written about your relationship. he had grown highly protective of you and quickly silenced any negative comments of you.

so for his proposal he’d definitely gone all out, he had to, it’s what you deserved. changbin chose a rooftop overlooking the city skyline, where the setting was exquisitely furnished to fit the theme, complete with fairy lights, candles, and calming music. he would tell you how you have helped him grow as a person, how he views you as his partner in everything and how he can't imagine going into the future with anyone else. It would be raw, emotional, and completely authentic. changbin wanted the proposal to be a moment you both share with the people you care about the most. when you answer "yes," he would have your closest friends and family members hidden nearby to join in the cheering and celebration. the air would be filled with love, excitement, and enthusiasm as you two shared this unique time with your loved ones.

hyunjin.. although you had known each other since high school, you didn't start dating until a few years after his debut. over the years, he had accomplished great success and was appreciative that you had remained by his side for so long, despite being convinced that he wasn't the greatest partner. he had a big proposal plan for you and wanted everything to be special for you, but his plans were derailed when he unintentionally sent you a text about the details that was meant for someone else. he put off his proposal for a while in hopes that you would forget about it, but one day he asked you to join him for an “event” in paris. although you had already visited with him there a few times, he assured you that this time you would have more time to spend with each other. during his "event," he would plan an intimate dinner at a modest café overlooking the night skyline of paris. following a memorable evening, he would take you to a beautiful, hidden spot with a secret garden nestled in the nearby area. the warm, poetic light of a neighboring streetlamp would illuminate you both as hyunjin took your hand and explained his desire to live out the rest of his days with you. then he would come down on one knee and ask you to be his lifelong partner with a gentle but sincere "will you marry me?"

—

nini’s notes 110524

hi hi 😙 definitely say this every time but i’m nervous about this one 😀 i hope you enjoy this? i’m sorry if this is bad it’s my first time writing something like this :>

asks are always open if you have a request, concern, or question!

-🎀

[acidsoju]

CLASS PREZ

genre: smut, high school seniors! nonidol au, enemies to ??? (fuck buddies maybe?) pairing: class president!soobin x troublemaker!reader warnings: nsfw, dom!soobin, a lot of swearing, oral (m. receiving; f. kinda receiving), unprotected sex (dont!), unedited so probably bad writing word count: 4.4k summary: when student council president, choi soobin, becomes the terror of the whole school and you must do something to stop him.

Soobin used to enjoy his time at school. Always having been a lil’ of a control freak, when he was elected as president of the student council he felt as if he held the world in his hands, even thought it was the mere administration of students’ affairs. Still, things changed since he climbed to the top of the student’s pyramid, changed for good if you were to ask him; where you could see students running down hallways before, now there was peace and quiet and those who’d dare to break the not running rule, would have to spend hours scratching gum from down the desks.

Where you could see girls with extremely short skirts, the thin clothe flying mindlessly at their movements putting on disposal to everyone who’d walk by their thighs and, sometimes, even a sight of their panties, now if you were to break the not more than five inches above the knee rule, you’d had to endure the oldest professor in school’s lecturing.

Earrings were gone; make up, gone; comics and non-educational books inside the building, gone. Wearing earphones was a no; nail polish was a crime; no wrinkles in your school uniform were allowed to be seen. Some kids even started fearing talking on the halls, just a normal conversation between friends.

Things had to stop.

“This guy is a tyrant.”

A fist bumped against the cold, single table inside the small janitor’s room. The dim light of the mere light bulb hanging on the center of the room barely made everyone’s faces visible. Vibes were the same from that old mafia movie you had seen last night, except for the fact none of you were rich old men in their forties.

“We have to do something about him.” Beomgyu continued saying, his fist pressing down on the table, eyes looking straight into everyone else’s. “This is too much!”

“Quiet, please, we don’t want to get caught, remember.” You mumbled, your hand going up and resting over his clenched fist. You looked at the two other people in the room.

“But what can we do? I mean, we voted for him.” Said Hueningkai, arms crossed over his chest and a nervous look washing his features, the threat of being caught practically hiding and conspiring against the number one at school making him feel sick on the stomach.

“I didn’t vote for him.” Taehyun added, shrugging.

“Listen, now…” You spoke, getting up from your seat and placing your palms against the table as you leaned closer. “There must be something we can do, we need to break him, make him fall from his position.”

“I may have an idea…”

Oh, Beomgyu and his ideas; somehow you always were the only one getting the worst part.

That was what you thought as you waited at the end of the hall. The boys had cut short your skirt a little too much, more that they had promised, barely covering your ass; your lips shone thanks to the gloss you applied and that would occasionally stain the gum in your mouth whenever you’d make a balloon with it; you were sure the music from your earphones was loud enough to hear it if you passed by. Your tie hung loose around your neck and the first two buttons of your shirt were unbuttoned, showing a little the line of your breasts popping up, more skin that you were supposed to show on the sacred grounds of school.

“And you’re sure this is gonna break him?” You had asked Beomgyu once you had change into your perfect attire. He nodded, looking up and down at you, eyebrows furrowing, looking to whatever was missing according to him before offering you a piece of gum.

“Yeah, just be yourself—And I mean, a pain in the ass.”

Your head snapped to look over your shoulder when you heard footsteps coming down from the stairs. That’s him, you thought after checking at the time on your phone; the student council meeting must have ended around this time. And you confirmed it when his tall, tidy-self appeared in your vision, the widening in his eyes worthy of the cartoon’s praises. He froze in his place, three stairs before reaching your floor, and tilted his head to a side, eyes taking the sight of you completely.

Shit, you even could hear the alarms running off in his head. His eyebrows twitched, looking up from the sight of your bare thighs to your unbuttoned and loose shirt before going back at your eyes, not going unnoticed by him the way you grossly and purposely chew the gum in your mouth, making disgusting sounds. His mouth opened, probably ready to tell you were going to be expelled even though he didn’t have that kind of power in his hands, but the words were caught in his throat when you smiled, grinned, at him, your eyes beaming in mischief before looking away and making a run from him.

“He-hey! No running in the halls!”

Feeling the rush of adrenaline in your veins, you couldn’t stop the giggling that scaped from your lips as you heard his hurried steps behind yours. As some people peeked through the classrooms’ windows and doors at the noise outside in the hall, you spotted Beomgyu reaching out with a file of papers in your direction, that you quickly grabbed and shot them up, papers spreading all over the hall as they fell. You stopped before the stairs at the other end of the hall and looked over your shoulder, caughting Soobin’s angry stare glued to you; his eyes, again, widening at the realization of your next move.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, don’t-

Pressing down your thighs over the cold railing, you lifted your feet from the floor and suppressed the urge to squeal as you slid down, hair flaying back. It had been some time since last time you slid down a railing, probably since you were fourteen, but it was just as riding a bike.

You still could hear Soobin’s footsteps following close behind you, trying to get a hold on you, so when you reached the last floor, you didn’t stop running and instead, hurried your pace. Soobin stopped trailing you when he saw you exiting the main building and turning on a corner around it, loosing the sight of you. He panted, anger flushing his veins, his ears fury red; lucky for him, as he fixed the slid down frame of his glasses he spotted at his feet a pair of earphones that, oh so responsible of you, had a small tag with your name on it.

The plan didn’t go as you hoped: Soobin’s tyrant habits didn’t stop nor lessened, but you had had so much fun and, one thing you noticed was that things around school sure were so much lively since the rumors of your little performance from a few days ago had spread all over the school.

“Damn, what I would give to see the look on his face!” Exclaimed Beomgyu with daydreaming eyes again and again, fascinated when you had told the boy all about the president’s reaction.

“Maybe next time you should dress up-

Words hung in the air when your classroom’s door opened a few minutes before class was supposed to star. Of course, it wasn’t your professor; the coquettish giggling from some other students gave it away. The student council vice-president, Yeonjun, wasn’t even half-terrible or intimidating as the president was, but still if you were ever to caught him moody, god, it was the end for you.

You hoped this wasn’t the case.

His cold eyes scanned your classroom and when his gaze stopped in yourself, practically hiding behind Beomgyu’s frame, a small smile draw in his pink, puffy lips.

“Y/n?”

“Fuck.”

“Y/n? When today’s classes are over, the student council president would like to see you.”

Oh, oh, oh, you were so fucked.

So, after that day’s final class, while your friends hugged you goodbye as if it was going to be the last time you saw each other, you promised not to follow ever again a plan of Beomgyu, if it, of course, you were to make it alive today.

The student council’s office was on the last floor of the school building and it was as big as two of your classrooms combined. You heard some talking inside when you stopped in front of the tag that read ‘student council member’s only’, before knocking slowly against the door three times. The noise inside stopped.

For the second time of the day, Yeonjun stared at you, nodding as he opened the door and took a step aside to let you in. Some of people inside gave you one of the nastiest looks you had ever received in your life, but instead of looking away you only snarled back at them, some of them gasping at your so rabid reaction.

Soobin was there, of course, sitting down on his personal desk; hands clasped covering the bottom half of his face as his dark eyes followed you closely, like you were some kind of prey.

You stopped in the middle of the room, eyes never looking away from his.

“Leave us.” Soobin spoke calmly to the rest of the people in the room; they, of course, obliged hurriedly, giving you some more ugly stared before walking out. The last one was Yeonjun who, with a lazy and small smile on his lips, just nodded in your direction and walked away with his bag hanging from his shoulder, closing the door behind him. Your eyes went back to Soobin, whose eyes were piercing at yourself, even from behind the glasses on his face. “Sit.”

“No, thanks,” You could tell the way his stare only hardened at the mocking tone on your words. A sigh scaped his lips, before resting down his hands over his desk and leaning back on his seat, head slightly tilting back as his eyes stared holes into you, looking up and down at your clothes. “Needed something from me? I’m kinda in a hurry…”

“What a shame, then.” He licked his lips, eyebrows narrowing in fake concern. His fingers traced down a file over his desk and he flipped it open, eyes flicking to the papers inside and then started reading out loud. “Y/n, senior, nineteen years old, transferred from Daegu with your cousin Choi Beomgyu two years ago, grades average, behavior bad; sleeping at class, eating at class, non-compliance of the school’s policies, making a ruckus in the middle of the hall, taking back at teachers, sneaking from classes and I could go on and on.”

Your eyes fell open into an ‘o’ shape, mockingly. “Don’t tell me you run a background check on me, you perv.”

“Incredibly disrespectful.” He added, his eyes went up to look into yours again, putting down your file. “Now what should I do with you?”

“I have an idea,” You smiled trying to give him the best innocent look you could give him. “Why don’t I just go back home, reflect on my actions and we both pretend nothing of this ever happened, uh, prez?” Soobin cracked a big laugh at your words, throwing his head back and smiling in obvious irony at your words.

“Cute, but don’t even think about it.” He got up from his seat and walked around his desk, stopping in front of it and sitting down, arms crossing over his chest as he faced in your direction. “Since I’m a good prez who listens to everyone’s opinion before making a decision, I’ll hear yours, so you chose; we can give you a three weeks ban from school plus doubling your obligatory homework or you can do some voluntary work with the school janitors for two months.”

You snorted at the terribly, awful options you had; Soobin took in your reaction and licked his lips, smoothing the growing smirk in his lips as your mouth fell open in annoyance and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“Well, aren’t you pretty fucking nice, prez?” You snarled, eyes scrunching down at his relaxed frame awaiting an answer from your doomed-self. “This is completely your fault!”

“Excuse me?” Soobin questioned, his back stiffening. “How is it my fault that you’re such a brat?”

“You’re the fucking tight shit that wants us to roam around school like it's some kind of prison,” Soobin’s eyebrows went up and his hands closed in fists against the desk. “I mean, school supposed to be fun- “

“School is for learning.” He cut you off, his frame lifting up from his desk and talking a step closer to you. “Which, if I look at your grades, doesn’t seem like you’re doing.”

“You’re so full of yourself, shitty-head.” You took a step closer to him as well, pointing your index finger to his face, eyes throwing knives. “For some of us it’s actually hard the study part.”

Soobin snorted, his cold breath hitting against your face as you had grown closer to each other. “Agh, please! You don’t even try! All I have ever saw you do is walking around in that slutty skirt of yours and batting your eyes to whoever crosses your path.”

“Oh? What is this? Is the prez an actual perv?” You tilted your head, an amused smile growing in your face as you pushed your finger against his firm chest. Soobin’s stare becoming darker and darker each second as he held your gaze. Still, you traced up and down your finger. “Have you gotten so mad at me because you’re the only loser I haven’t let take a peek under my skirt, uh?” You pouted, mockingly feeling himself shudder under your touch.

His breath hitched when your finger went up from his chest and brushed against his neck, his Adam’s apple moving as he gulped down.

“Such a shame that your pretty face is going to waste when you have this fucked up attitude all the time,” You shook your head, disapprovingly. “why don’t you be nice for once and just let me go, uh?”

“You’re actually such a bratty slut, aren’t you?” He growled, his voice coming off lower and deeper than it actually was, making your knees weaker. His hand closed tightly around the one you held up against him. “Trying to sweet talk your way out of this? Out the mess you made?” He licked his lips, his eyes dangerously glancing down at yours, so closed to his, so pretty opened in amusement at his sudden snap. “Shouldn’t I be a good prez and teach you a lesson myself?”

You weren’t able to react on time before Soobin redirected your hand and pressed your open palm against the dump in his pants, hard, tight. Your eyes widened at his action and quickly tried to pull away, but his hold in you only hardened as he pressed your palm against him, his hips barely rubbing against the touch.

“What the fuck? Are you an actual pervert?”

Soobin snarled. “Such a pretty mouth but you only talk shit every time you open it.” His other hand went up to grab your face in between his long fingers, squishing your cheeks forcing you to pout; his hips rubbed a little harder against your palm. “Let me give your mouth a better use, okay?”

He let go of the hold on your hand against his crotch and used the same hand to unbuckle the belt of his pants that quickly fell to his ankles. Your breath got caught at the prominent bult on his boxers, making you salivate a little. Soobin noticed the look on your eyes because he chuckled darkly, letting you eat him alive with your eyes.

“You’re so quiet now, uh angel?” He mocked, his long fingers tracing down against his own clothed dick, the sight only making you weaker and weaker on the knees. His hold in your face loosened and his hand went up your head, pushing you down to get on your knees in front of him, your pretty, big eyes looking up from underneath him made him want to shove his full length right into your mouth.

And that’s exactly what he did.

You didn’t have time to catch on when he shoved down his boxer and placed the tip of his hard cock against your lips; darting open by surprise, Soobin took the opportunity to thrust his hips against your mouth. A heavy sight scaped his lips as he reached the back of your hot throat that clenched around him; he watched the beautiful scene you made as your eyes filled with tears and some spit trailed down from the corner of your lips.

“So fucking prettier with my cock in your mouth.”

You groaned as he thrusted faster and harder against your mouth, traying to breath from your nose and not to react to those gag reflexes. His big hand grabbed your hair making a sloppy ponytail on his fist and started pushing you up and down his cock. His bottom lip was caught by his teeth as he panted heavily, his dick twitching inside your mouth anytime you’d whine against him.

“Such a little brat taking me so well, oh, fuck, do that again.” Soobin lips darted at the way your tongue danced around his swollen and leaking tip, tasting the pre-cum on your mouth. “Gonna cum and you better swallow every single drop, okay angel?” You hummed at him, the vibrations from your mouth on his dick sending him to heaven as his pace only fastened, his hips uncontrollably thrusting into your mouth and the grip on your hair tightening. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, take it, doll, mmmh- good.”

You mouth filled with the ropes of cum that flew hard against the back of your throat, almost making you choke but you managed to swallow everything, licking clean his dick that sloppily moved inside and outside of your hot and wet mouth.

“Show me.” Soobin said and you obliged, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue. He hummed pleased and let go of your hair. He caught the needy look in your eyes, his lips stretching into a cocky smirk as he watched you get up and pressed your tights together. Your tights that were so exposed with that little skirt of yours. “Come here.” Soobin’s arm rounded your waist and pressed you against his body, while his free hand traced down from your hips to your ass, grabbing it hard before it went down even further.

His fingers pressed against the wet, dampened clothe of your panties. He chuckled, his breath hitting your neck as he towered over you and look at the glistening on his fingers.

“My dick got you so wet, uh?” He whispered against your ear, before his plump lips nibbled down at your earlobe, making you flinch. “You were being such an annoying brat just earlier, should I just leave you like this as your punishment?”

“N-No…”

“No what, angel? What do you want me to do, then?” Soobin’s nose trailed up and down your neck, taking in your aroused odor, licking occasionally against your skin. “Use your words.”

You inhaled sharply, feeling the pressure of Soobin’s fingers against your wet folds rubbing up and down at such a slow pace. Your hips moved on their own against his hand trying to get as much friction as you could, making Soobin clicked his tongue at your actions.

“Prez, I- mh-“ the words caught in your mouth as Soobin went further with his big hand, cupping your warm pussy, his middle finger barely caressing your clit over your panties. Soobin hummed in your ear.

“Yeah? I’m listening.”

“Want you to fuck me so bad, prez.”

Soobin smirked and turned you around, walking you to his desk until your legs were pressed against it and you fell over, your legs opening as he positioned himself in between them. His large hands grabbed your tights and pushed up your skirt all the way up, his eyes devouring the sight of the dampness in your panties. His fingers slid down the waistband of your panties and pulled down, throwing them somewhere in the classroom over his shoulder.

You, on the other hand, found yourself staring mesmerized at the boy in front of you. This sight was one you never thought, never in your life it had crossed your mind, that you would be able to witness. Soobin’s plump, bottom lip caught in between his teeth, his frames slid down to the tip of his nose, his wet -always so perfectly styled- hair falling over his eyes; and his eyes, that were glued to your core in unbreakable concentration.

Oh, how bad you wanted to touch him even more.

Your hands moved on their own, grabbing Soobin’s tie and pulling him down towards you, forcing his attention back to you. One of his big hands pressed against the wood of the desk on your back, his face just millimeters from yours. You leaned in trying to push your lips against his, but he quickly moved his head down, to your lap. Your mouth fell open when his lips brushed against your wet folds.

“So, so bad, angel. You really think you’re in control here, uh?” His breath hit against your core, making you shiver underneath him. Oh, how he liked that look on your face. “I was going to fuck you because you asked me so nicely, but now I guess I should do something else…”

His hot tongue pressed flat, immobile, against your pussy; eyes flickering up to you before he started moving his muscle up and down, licking you. You moaned, head falling back, and Soobin like that sound so much that he started moving his head, painfully slowly, reaching every inch of you with his tongue; so much more skilled than you ever thought?

His tongue found your hole and he didn’t hesitate before pushing it in and out, earning more beautiful sounds from you as he only went faster; his hands grabbed hard your hips, keeping you in place against his desk. One of his hands went down, two fingers moving faster against your clit, again and again and again, while his tongue thrusted into you unstoppably.

“Ah, fuck, prez- gonna cum, mmh-“ Soobin pulled away, stopping all of his movements suddenly, making you whine in pain and shut your eyes open at his smirking self.

“You don’t get to cum in my mouth, angel.” he got up, his big hand sliding up and down his throbbing dick before placing his tip against your clit and rubbing against it making you buck up your hips. “So needy for me, I’m gonna fuck your pretty hole numb.”

Air left your system when he pushed his tip into you. Your mouth fell open at the feeling of being so filled up and your head fell back, your eyes reaching the end of your head as a loud moan scaped your lips.

“So fucking tight, angel, oh-fuck.” Soobin hissed as you clenched around him. He didn��t wait until you had got used to his side, instead he started ramping merciless against you gaining more louder noises from you. He licked his lips, focused on the spot where his balls smacked against your skin. “Oh, you’re taking me so good, isn’t this pussy made just for me, uh?”

You whined, barely caughting on any words he said and he noticed that. Groaning, he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you up, closer to him before his lips smashed against your, his tongue bullying into your mouth the same way his cock was going in you. A string of spit connected both of your lips when he pulled apart, dark eyes staring into your glossy ones.

“Out already? But I just started.” He laughed at you, only making you clench more around him. Soobin hissed but still managed to smirk at you. “Such a pretty look on your face the fucked out one, angel.”

Soobin grabbed one of your tights and stretch it up, forcing you to turn to a side as he still snapped his hips against yours. The switching position only making him go deeper in you, reaching the sweetest spot.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, prez s’good.” You mumbled, mouth hanging open. Soobin groaned and turned you around, your chest falling against the desk and your hands stretching to grab onto anything. Soobin’s hands gripped your ass hardly, leaving red marks all over your cheeks. He salivated at the sight of your ass bouncing against his hips. “Agh- fuck, Soobin, more-“

Soobin’s eyes rolled to the back of his head hearing his name left your pretty lips. His hands moved you up and down even more rabidly against his hips, the sound of wet skin against wet skin filling the room as well as your uncontrollable moans.

“Say my name, angel, fuck, say it again.”

“S-Soobin, I’m cumming, cumming, cumming, oh- god.”

You snapped, finally reaching your climax. Soobin’s teeth chew harder on his lip as you covered his dick in your hot juices, making everything even sloppier and the sounds nastiest. It didn’t take much more for him to cum inside you as well, his cum mixing with your own, his hips never stopping even thought you had both finished.

Soobin finally pulled off and you were catching your breath, when his big palm pressed against your back and his hot breath hit against your ass. His hands grabbed your ass-cheeks and pulled them apart, exposing the wet disaster on your entrance, juices mixed and dripping onto his desk. He stuck out his tongue and slurped all of it until you were clean, enjoying the tiny whines leaving your lips and the way you tried to squirm away from him.

“So good, angel.” His thump caressed your ass before he finally, very reluctantly, stepped back from you, admiring your exhausted, ruined self over his desk.

Soobin fixed his frames over his nose.

“See you next week.”

Things started to change around school; the mood was livelier, laughter could be heard around, boys made ruckuses on the halls, girls giggled between them, Beomgyu got back the comics the student council had took away from him, gum wasn’t a crime anymore and, if you were lucky, a slightly mistake on the uniform policy was overlooked.

Yeah, things were great.

“Y/n, do you have a moment after class? The student council president wants to have a word with you.” Informed Yeonjun the same day only one week apart.

[rememberwren]

A Dichotomy of Thought || 2

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Further Parts

Simon thinks of a way for you to make up to them almost hitting Johnny with your car.

#

It’s not all blackness. There are white days.

White nights, too. Just not in the way Johnny might have hoped for. Instead, the blinding glare of sun on snow makes his eyes water. His sunglasses have been dislodged in the crash, lost somewhere. His arm, too. Fire crackles, the sound dampened by the snow. His leg is crushed beneath a piece of scrap metal that’s been bent like a twig, and all around him is the smell: smoke and gas and blood.

Ghost is there, too. Ghost peeking up out of the snow, his white camouflage and Johnny’s double vision disguising him until only the black outline of his mask is visible over the glare of all-else. Johnny blinks hard but Ghost only ever swims into focus for a moment. Around the edges of his vision, it’s all darkness, darkness.

“Where you been?” Johnny croaks, tasting blood.

“Been here all this time,” Ghost says, mask flexing where his jaw moves.

Johnny wakes up then. Because Ghost wasn’t there, and that detail is enough to break through the all’s-well fog that seems to lay over dreams like a fine mist. If Ghost had been there, it’s likely that he would have been lost like the rest of the crew. Then what would Johnny have left? An artificial knee; a weak arm; headaches twice a day. Everything a boy could have ever dreamed of.

Johnny wakes from these white dreams with his heart pounding, Simon’s hand on his shoulder urging him awake. Simon isn’t sleeping these days—at least not when Johnny might catch him in the act.

An hour before sunrise, the sky the same color as a fresh bruise, Johnny croaks out in the darkness of their bedroom: “C’n we have eggs for brekkie?”

#

Johnny used to do all the cooking, back in the Before times as Simon has taken to calling them in his mind, but Simon is a quick learner; he always has been. It’s one of the (many) reasons why he had managed to move up through the ranks in the military so quickly. When he has a problem, he develops a narrow-minded focus that has been referred to more than once as a ‘dog with a bone’ mentality.

But he’s learning that Johnny is not a problem that he can fix.

Simon becomes excellent at seeing everything and nothing at once. His head is expertly turned to keep his lover only in the periphery of his vision. In that way, he pretends not to see the way Johnny first goes to the counter, intending to shift himself up and sit on it the way he used to in the old days before the helicopter went down. He’s almost there when he must remember that he has only one arm, one weak arm. One throbbing leg. Perhaps he could scramble up onto the counter like old times, but perhaps he couldn’t, and his pride is too beaten to take the risk. So he goes to the kitchen table, the one made of mismatched chairs and scratched oak wood, and Simon has to pretend that he doesn’t see the way Johnny struggles to even pull his chair out.

Grab it from the middle, Johnny, he wants to say, but he doesn’t. Help is not wanted here. Help is the opposite of helpful. Already the frustration is building behind Soap’s eyes like a balloon filled with too much air, latex creaking, ready to pop at a moment’s notice or less and send all that fury rushing out. Simon can take it. He can take it—but he dreads it.

It’s not him, he tells himself, scrambling an egg in the pan. It’s the pain. It’s the fear. It’s poisoning his boy’s head, and he doesn’t know how to help. Doesn’t know what to do except endure. Put his head down and barrel through the storm and pray that when he comes out on the other side, Johnny is still there with him.

Johnny has his head in his hand when Simon sets the plate in front of him, the eggs cut into bite sized pieces—and that’s a battle they’ve already fought a thousand times before Simon could convince Johnny to just accept his help, just let me cut up your fucking food Johnny for fuck’s sake let me do it so you don’t starve yourself to death.

It’s familiar to fight beside Johnny; it’s surreal to fight against him.

“Thank yeh,” Johnny mutters morosely. He perks up a little when Simon adds two pale green ovals to the table beside his orange juice, marked with 33’s. He takes those first, on an empty stomach no less, but drains the glass of orange juice which Simon figures is better than nothing.

“How’s your pain?”

“A five maybe.”

Simon internally adds two. There was a pain chart posted up in Johnny’s hospital room in the ICU: a barrage of circular faces displaying the spectrum from peace to agony. Little tears had been coming out of the corners of the face’s eyes at the SEVEN marker, its color just beginning to turn a fiery red. It’s been three months since they were stuck in that tiny, hellish room, but whenever Johnny gives a number for his pain, the chart is the first thing Simon thinks of.

The two eat together. Afterwards, Simon takes the dishes to the sink.

“Let me help.”

Simon doesn’t bother telling him no. When Johnny gets an idea in his head, for worse or for better, it’s better to let him see it through. Even if it inevitably ends in rage.

Simon takes his time washing each individual dish, making sure not to have too many dishes waiting to be rinsed at once, even if it means polishing the same fork over and over while Johnny struggles to relearn doing anything with his non-dominant arm. His crutch is propped up against the corner where the counter turns, watching them.

Their shoulders brush. Johnny looks up at him with pupils blown wide and then ducks his head, nuzzling his temple against Simon’s jaw. It’s the most affection they’ve shown each other in weeks.

“‘m sorry for how it’s been lately,” he says, water dripping off his elbow and onto the floor. “How I’ve been. A right angel, aren’t I?”

“Always.” Angels make him think of death, and death still makes him think of Johnny. How fucking close he came to scattering his lover’s ashes instead of passing him dishes to be rinsed. He tells Johnny the same thing he tells himself: “Things will get better. You get stronger every day.”

Johnny laughs weakly. “My arse.”

“It’s a fine arse.”

“Better ‘n fine. Jesus fucking Christ, this is harder than it looks,” Johnny says. He’s breaking out in a sweat, turning over his clean juice glass beneath the clear stream of water. Part of that sweat is pain, part exertion.

“You’re doing—“

The glass slips from Johnny’s fingers, and he tries to catch it with a hand that’s no longer there. It shatters against the laminate flooring, scattering glass like a bomb scattering shrapnel. They both stare long enough for a single beat of their hearts before Johnny brings his good fist (his only fist—Simon has taken to calling it his Good Fist in his mind) down on the lip of the sink, bellowing a curse that probably has the neighbors jerking in fright.

“Just a glass,” says Simon. But he knows better. “Come here. Don’t step in it. Y’re barefoot.”

He guides Johnny out of the danger zone and into the living room, pausing only to backtrack for his crutch when he notices the way his lover struggles to walk a straight line.

Simon gives him the remote and sweeps up the glass. By the time he comes back into the living room, Johnny is asleep, head back against the headrest of the couch. If it weren’t for the soft snores, Simon would feel the need to check if he were dead.

#

Simon sits in the armchair with a book in his lap. The words swim on the pages. He has never been this tired in his life; not even on missions where sleep seemed contraindicated. But behind his eyelids he sees a car bearing down on his Johnny, and stupid, foolish Johnny stepping out to meet it. He can’t even step out onto the balcony for a cigarette, not without worrying that when he comes back he’ll find—

A slamming of a door startles Simon awake from where he had begun to drift into a nightmare. Glancing toward Johnny first to make sure Soap hadn’t woken—and he hadn’t, though his head had fallen into an uncomfortable position that would surely leave him with a crick in his neck—he gives a dark glare toward the door.

Ever since the old man in the apartment beside them had died, it had been a never ending parade of fuck-ups in and out of the place.

Being angry is addictive. He finds himself wanting to feed his fuse, putting his book down and going to the door and throwing it open, ready to leave a lasting impression on any misfortunate soul left in the hallway.

Figures it would be you.

Your eye looks better today. It is less swollen, less pink. You’re sitting slumped against the door of 7C, ready to fall backwards should it open too abruptly, but at the sound of Simon’s door opening, you jerk yourself into a standing position

You gape in horror at the sight of him, and Simon gets a sick sense of pleasure from it. Make that equal parts pleasure and guilt (he usually doesn’t get off on frightening women, though it happens more often than he intends it to). He glances towards his door, peeking in through the crack to spy Johnny’s slumped, sleeping figure, assuring himself that it’s still there.

“You…live here?” You point at 5C, from which Simon has just exited.

“No. I broke in,” he deadpans.

“Is he okay? The…the guy I almost—“

“He’s fine.” Truth is, he’s so far from fine that Simon doesn’t think he could find fine with a map and a compass. But technically from her standpoint, it is true. She didn’t hit Johnny. If Johnny hadn’t stepped out in front of her, they never would have come so close in the first place. But clearly she doesn’t know that, and Simon isn’t going to tell her.

“Thank God,” you mutter, fresh sorrow in your warbling voice. “Tell him I’m so sorry. Again.”

“Shouldn’t be driving like that,” Simon says, while he’s in the habit of being a dick. He nods his chin towards your face. “Can you even see?”

“Better today,” you admit. “Please, if there’s anything I can ever do to make it up to him, and to you, let me know—“

And suddenly, like rays of light spilling down from parted clouds, he knows what he wants. What is within your power to give him, that is.

“Give me five minutes,” Simon says.

He watches a series of complex emotions flit across your face. He’s never been good at reading people; he doesn’t know what any of them mean. At length, your shoulders lift toward your ears as you steel yourself. You say: “You’ll have to talk to my boyfriend first.”

“For five minutes?” Simon asks, glancing back at the apartment door as if Johnny is liable to be standing there. He lowers his voice a little. “I just want one fucking cigarette without worrying about him taking a swan dive off the balcony. Please.”

You give him another strange look. But this time something that he says has gotten through to you. Looking every bit like a woman being coaxed to the gallows, you ask: “Five minutes…and all I have to do is what? Watch him?”

“Yes. He took two oxy at breakfast, he should be out for a while. Five minutes, you have my word. Give me your phone.”

“I don’t have one.”

Who doesn’t have a fucking phone? he wants to ask, frustration rising sharp and noxious in the back of his throat, but he doesn’t. He works his own phone free from his pocket. There isn’t any passcode on it, no thumbprint requirement or otherwise. He’s never kept secrets from Johnny.

“You know what a seizure looks like?”

“No,” you admit, mouth slipping into a comfortable frown.

“You’d recognize it if you saw it. Call an ambulance.”

“Is that—could he—?”

“He could. But he won’t. Five minutes.” Then, because he’s a piece of shit and because he can tell you’re thinking of chickening out: “You owe us.”

That steeliness appears back in your eyes. You nod grimly, clutching his phone in your hand, and go to slip past him into the apartment. But first…

Simon grips your wrist. His grip is gentle, but it has you going stiff and still all over, like a rabbit in a dog’s jowls. Playing dead, you are. Then he whispers: “That’s my boy in there. You do anything to hurt him or get any funny ideas, I’ll break your legs off. ‘m I clear?”

“You’re clear,” you whisper, voice in that strange warble again. This time you wait for him to nod his head in permission before slipping past him into the apartment, shutting the door behind you with a quiet click.

#

It is strange, being in someone else’s space. Eager as you are to intrude as little as possible (you’re more than happy to assuage the guilt that has roosted something foul in your belly since yesterday’s near accident in the parking lot), you can’t help but snoop. It’s human of you. Somehow, after everything, you are still human.

There are photographs on the walls of strangers: pretty girls who share a familial resemblance with their arms around each other; men in combat fatigues with weapons slung across their shoulders; a young blond boy and a German Shepherd. The space is tidy and small, a mirror image of your own apartment next door with the kitchen on the south side and the living area to the north instead of the other way around. The scent of breakfast clings to the air, and there are clean dishes drying in the dish rack.

On the couch is a man, his head lolled forward until his chin rests against his chest. He snores softly. Dressed in loose fitting pants and a t-shirt, his crutch rests against the couch. His right arm is missing.

You can barely breathe for how badly you don’t want to wake him. You can’t help but trace your eyes over his features though: the arch of his cheekbones, the lines of his jaws, the fullness of his mouth. There are scars along his temple, a livid purple in the morning light that streams in through the window.

He’s drooling on his shirt.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper. He flinches in his sleep, and it sobers you. No more talking. The last thing you wanted him to do was to wake and catch you looming over him. You can almost hear his rough, accented voice: Did Jesus send ye? Did He tell ye to finish the fucking job and do me in?

You have just made a second near-silent circuit of the apartment when the door opens and the larger man re-enters, slightly out of breath. You glance down at his phone and see that only three minutes have passed. Stepping out into the hallway, he gives the sleeping man a lingering glance before following after you.

“You’re early.”

“Yeah, well. Couldn’t relax for fuck all. Thanks anyway.” You can’t help but take note of this man’s exhaustion: the solid darkness beneath his drooping eyes, the way his huge form seems to sag in on itself. It doesn’t take a psychic or a sleuth to put together that he hasn’t been resting, and you can guess why.

“You need your rest too,” you remind him.

“Thanks for the tip.” He says it with all the charm he might say, Fuck off.

You lift your hands in the universal sign of surrender. Message received. You’d overstepped enough with your car. The last thing he needed was advice from you. Glancing toward your apartment door, that old phrase comes into your head “No good deed goes unpunished”. But if all punishments are for good deeds, you must have been a saint in a past life.

Still, you find yourself offering: “If you ever want me to watch him again while you smoke or shower or nap or something. You know where I’m at.”

He stares at you. His eyes are so dark, you can barely tell pupil from iris. He’s not conventionally handsome—not the way the other man is, perhaps—but he is striking: brow low and strong, eyes dark like coffee without cream, mouth full and unhappy. Like Nietzsche said, you look into him and he looks into you. Then he nods, and without even telling you his name, disappears back into his apartment.

You stare for a long moment, feeling oddly bereft at the abrupt ending to this communication. Eventually, you try the doorknob on 7C.

Still locked.

[burnthatbridge]

8x01 misery missing scene

post the sad zoom birthday party also on ao3 if you prefer

They stick around long enough to help clear up. 

The party decorations come down faster than they went up. Each balloon that Buck pops is a perfect mirror to the ball of excitement in his chest that had shattered at Chris’ lacklustre response, at the stuttering video connection. Except, instead of slippery, soft rubber, the shards it left behind are hard, cutting glass. 

“The cake was excellent,” Tommy offers, with forced cheer, into the silence that descends once the sound of balloons bursting and streamers rustling stops. 

“Take the rest with you,” Eddie says, turning away, heading into the kitchen.

Buck follows him, Tommy close behind, and watches Eddie shove the happy birthday banner into the trash, the party hats too. Buck bites his lip on the protest that Eddie should keep them for next year — he doesn’t think he can bear to hear Eddie voice the fear that they might have as little use for them then as they did today. 

“You’re serious about the cake?” Tommy asks, crossing to where it sits on the kitchen table, one solitary slice consumed. Buck had a bite of Tommy’s, and it was good, but he didn’t feel like having his own. And Eddie hadn’t seemed up to stomaching any at all. 

“Yep,” Eddie nods, without looking over. “I don’t want it.” 

Buck pulls a large tupperware container from the cupboard, hands it over to Tommy, who boxes up the cake. But Buck also takes down a smaller container, saves a single slice, and tucks it away in the fridge. He knows Eddie will crave it later — maybe not tonight, but certainly by tomorrow morning — and will wish he hadn’t given it all away. It will be a nice surprise for him — a much needed one — to find that Buck didn’t let him. 

Buck walks the knife used to cut the cake to the sink and Eddie steps in to wash it. Buck hovers at his side, taskless. They had been going to stick around after surprising Chris, have a couple of beers, watch something, but, with how things went, it’s clear that’s not going to happen. 

“Eddie,” Buck starts, wants to ask if he’s okay — knows he’s not — but Eddie cuts him off. 

“Thanks for coming,” he says, clearly a dismissal, bidding them goodnight without looking up for scrubbing at a knife that must be long clean. 

Tommy replies, “Thank you for inviting us,” even though technically only he was; Buck — never a guest in Eddie’s home — more co-host than attendee, had helped to plan the party, and his presence was assumed, certain. 

At the same time, Buck says, “Of course.” He wouldn’t have been anywhere else today, on Chris’ birthday. Not unless flying to Texas to actually see him would have been an option. Hell, if Eddie had wanted to drive over to El Paso to visit, Buck would have gladly played chauffeur for the whole twelve hour drive. 

Tommy drops a reassuring hand onto the stiff surface that is Eddie’s shoulder, pats it, once, twice, three times, to no noticeable softening. “See you later, man.” He moves to the kitchen door, pauses, looking back at Buck. 

Buck takes a tentative step in Tommy’s direction, says, “See you tomorrow, Eds?” It’s supposed to be a statement, like Tommy’s. A stronger one, even, since Buck and Eddie have a shift together the next day, so their seeing each other should be a concrete occurrence, not a vague likelihood. But the words come out sounding more like a question and he doesn’t follow Tommy out of the room until he sees Eddie nod in answer, agreement. 

They only make it as far as the front door before the gnawing concern in Buck’s gut is too much.  

“Wait,” Buck says as Tommy turns the handle.

Tommy stops, door cracked open an inch, but not opening it any wider, and twists to face Buck, looks at him, expectant. 

“I think–” Buck starts, but he doesn’t quite know what he thinks, only that he shouldn’t be leaving now. Even though there’s nothing left to do: all traces of the party stripped away, their evening plans abandoned. Still, he shouldn’t be leaving. Shouldn’t be leaving Eddie. Not like this.

And he should tell Tommy that, explain it to him. Except… He probably doesn’t need to. Tommy knows him, knows Eddie, and he saw firsthand how things went down tonight. So Buck simply asks, “Can I make my own way? Catch you later?”

“Sure, babe.” Tommy’s expression is full of understanding, eyes soft. He tilts his head, slightly. “I’ll wait up for you?”

Buck nods. “Yeah, please.” He leans in, putting his mouth to Tommy’s mouth, pressing goodbye and gratitude into the kiss. 

Tommy pulls back, graces Buck with a small curling of his lips, the smile dimmer than his usual given how the evening has played out, and then he’s over the threshold, toting the tupperware filled to the brim with uncelebrated birthday cake with him. 

Buck closes the door behind him, gently, then pads back through the house. 

Eddie is in the kitchen, but not quite how Buck left him. He’s still facing away, but now, instead of washing the same spot on the blade of the cake knife over and over, he has his hands braced on the edge of the counter, his head hanging down, like the effort of keeping it up has become too much.

He’s got to know Buck hasn’t left, must hear him reentering the room, a single set of footsteps, but he doesn’t acknowledge him in any way. 

Buck goes to him. Stands at Eddie’s side, tries to see his expression in his dim reflection in the window, but it’s tricky with Eddie’s face lowered. “Eddie,” Buck says and is finally rewarded with Eddie looking up, raising his head so that his eyes meet Buck’s in the window.

The agony in his gaze is palpable.

Buck doesn’t know how to help. He saw how little comfort Eddie took from Tommy’s touch, so it seems pointless to try the same. But his hands itch to hold, to smooth over Eddie and check for points of pain, even though he knows his hurt is of the heart, not body. Knows it, because his own is the same. Buck hurts too: for Chris, for Eddie, for himself. 

“Eddie,” Buck repeats, with no destination in mind except a route out of Eddie’s misery. But, if anything, the anguish displayed plainly on Eddie’s face only deepens. He squeezes his eyes shut and his hands fist, fingers curling in so tight his knuckles whiten. 

“I’m losing him,” Eddie says. 

“You’re not,” Buck answers back, automatic, but no less insistent for it. Eddie isn’t losing Chris. He can’t be losing him. They can’t be losing him. 

“I am,” Eddie pushes back, lifting his hands from the counter to gesture wildly, grief uncontainable. “I’m losing him and it’s all my fault.”

“No.” Buck catches Eddie’s wrists, squeezes them, tries to press his belief, his faith, in Chris and Eddie’s relationship into Eddie’s skin, to transfer it to him. “You made a mistake, but he’s going to forgive you. He just needs a little more time.“

“I don’t think I can take any more time without him,” Eddie confesses, and there are tears shining in his eyes. 

Buck drops his hold on Eddie’s arms, but only so he can wind his own around him, tug him into an embrace.

Eddie lets him, tucks his face into Buck’s neck, chokes out, “I just want him to come home.”

“I know,” Buck murmurs, smoothing one hand down the line of Eddie’s spine, his other arm wrapped firmly round his shoulders. “I know. I do too.”

“He loves his grandparents,” Eddie goes on, voice muffled in Buck’s shirt collar. “He could decide to just stay with them.”

“He loves you,” Buck states, an irrefutable fact. This he knows: he has been privileged to witness so much of the love Christopher has for his dad. “He’s not going to stay with them forever.”

“But,” Eddie protests, sounding lost and unsure, his fingers wound in the fabric of Buck’s shirt, his breath damp against Buck skin, “You love your parents. That doesn’t make them good ones. Ones you’d want to be with if you had a better option.”

“You are nothing like my parents.” Buck squeezes Eddie tighter to him, in tune with the ferocity of his words. “You– you are the best father I have ever seen. You love Chris so, so much. And– and he knows you do, he doesn’t have to doubt it.” Not like Buck did, every day of his life.

He continues, “Your mom and dad are not the better option for him. Sure, he’s having a nice summer with them. But, even if he’s still upset right now, I know he’s missing you too. He’s going to come home, because he belongs here, with you.” Of that Buck is sure. It’s Chris and Eddie: their bond is too deep, their relationship too strong, to be broken. 

“But,” Eddie says again, “But what if he–”

“No,” Buck stops him, not willing to let Eddie hurt himself with his thoughts, his fears, more than he already has. “Chris loves you, Eddie. And he’s going to come home to you. He is.”

Buck doesn’t know if Eddie fully believes him, but his words are enough that Eddie slumps completely against him in something like relief. And all his stress and hurt over being separated from his son comes pouring out.

As he sobs, the spasming of his chest heaving against Buck’s and the trickle of his tears sliding down Buck’s skin, Buck holds him. Holds him and presses his lips to his temple and thinks please, Chris, please come home soon. Come home to us. 

[yandere-romanticaa]

My head is empty as it's filled with nothing but Childe and I just want to gush about my man for a little bit, excuse me mindless rambling.

Whenever he would leave for a trip, he would deflate like a balloon, I just know it. But, he has to go, duty calls and all that other boring stuff. No matter the time of day though Childe is always thinking about you, wondering what you're doing, where you are and with who. He's definitely the type of guy who would just start gushing about you to a complete stranger. The stranger is either going to be taken aback by his sheer intensity or perhaps even a little charmed because it's just so rare to see a young man be so in love with someone. He doesn't want anyone else in this world, no one else matters.

On paper, most people would love to have a partner so devoted and loyal.

But most people are also not ready for the sheer fierceness such a relationship would cause.

He would give himself to you 100% but he expects the same treatment back. This is a man who likes direct and honest communication, he does not have the time nor will to waste on meaningless things. If you don't like the gift he brought back, that is okay. Just speak up, he won't get mad. The way in which he senses your uneasiness is maddening, like a shark smelling fresh blood.

And like the predator that he is, Childe always goes for the kill.

He is also more than willing to give you time in order to get used to him and his presence. He tries to soothe you by being there for you in any way he can, be it physically present or sending regular letters, telling you of his adventures and mundane affairs.

He would be very insulted if he found out that you wanted to throw out his letters. You banish the thought from your mind every time it pops up.

The way in which his deep blue eyes shine with adoration is something for the history books. Some Fatui agents who possess artistic talents even go so far to write down your encounters, perhaps even paint them on a fine canvas if they feel brave enough to do so.

The way you handle the situation all depends on you. Do you try to run, the fear of getting lost in the abyss too strong to handle? Or do you stay by his side, finally madly in love with him as he so desperately wants you to be?

Once he makes a promise, it will never be broken. And if you decide to take his hand in your own, you will never know a loveless life ever again.

Are you ready to drown with him?

[globophobicligyrophobiccontent]

I know I abandoned this post a little a lot, sorry about that, I wasn't feeling creative enough to write or update, but I'm back now, I think I got what it takes again!

I'll start with simple things with creative liberty and I have a request, sorry it took this long! I didn't check the request box in a while since nobody sent anything. Also planning to rebrand the blog, just to change the image, wash the face.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this but, I'm really happy and excited for my birthday! I'm planning to do it on my friends house, so I can put... wait fo it ...

Balloons

Weird, right? Well, the thing is, that I did a little bit of exposure, and I can handle balloons pretty well now, I still can stand the popping, but it's an advance.

The thing is, if I use balloons to decorate at my house, my family probably will just ignore that I'm still scared of the popping and stuff, and also, make jokes about how I used to be scared, in good font, but still, it hurts a little.

So if I make my birthday at my friend's house, I can make it a little more secret and personal. My friends know about my phobia and they're really respectful and understand my steps, so I can trust them with that.

Nothing too big, just some here and there to make one of my childhood dreams come true: to have a "normal" birthday, if normal means have some balloons.

Well, I think that's all for now, if you took the time to read, thanks! I will update more soon.

[jedi-luca]

Avenger Lane Chapter 15: Creature Fear

Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention? 

Parings: Natasha x Reader

Warnings: Reader has a Penis

Previous Chapter

Natasha opened the door with a look of surprise. Someone was holding a bouquet of flowers, a present, and balloons. She couldn’t even see who it was. Until you popped your head through the balloons.

“Y/N?” She beamed laughing.

“Happy birthday Nat.” You smiled widely.

Natasha couldn’t wait for you to even step inside she jumped in your arms. Presents falling to the floor with petals falling around you. You chuckled holding her up as her legs wrapped around you. Stepping inside you shut the door, kicking the presents aside.

“I wasn’t sure you’d make it.” She mumbled against your neck.

“I promised you, and I didn’t want to break another promise with you. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me too of course.” 

Natasha kissed you softly letting her fingers run through your hair before pulling away. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I missed you too. You wanna-“

“Yes.” She nodded, kissing you again only for you to break the kiss.

“I was gonna say open your presents, but that sounds amazing.” You chuckled walking over to the sofa, setting her down.

She blushed, nodding as she cleared her throat crossing her legs. You handed her a bouquet of carefully picked out flowers.

“Y/N, these are so beautiful. I love them, thank you.” She bites her lip, blushing a little as she studies the flowers. 

You bring the present to the coffee table sitting next to her as she smells her flowers. 

“You didn’t have to do all this, I just needed you.” She mumbles against your shoulder.

“It’s your birthday, Natalia, it should be celebrated.” You say softly placing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“You’re the sweetest.” She sighs, pecking your lips.

“So why don’t you open your first couple gifts of the day.”

“First couple gifts?” She smiles, biting her lip. “Y/N you really-“

“Stopppp come on.” You say as Leho leaps on the table to see what chaos you brought.

She smirked seeing you look nervous as she opens the first gift only to find a large envelope. Natasha furrows her brows at you before opening it. She gasps as she reads the title of legal documents, and the notary of the republic’s stamp.

“You’re…. Divorced… She actually signed them?”

“She didn’t really have a choice.”

“Oh my God. Y/N how? I thought it was going to take months!?”

“Well I finally listened to you spoke to my parents. With their help and Tony’s I counter sued for everything she did to me. The couples therapist Agatha turned in her notes to the judge which also helped immensely. The Fabrays hate a bad image and caved immediately especially when they knew I could squash them like a bug.”

Natasha tackled you in a hug.

“I promised you it would happen. I promised you, Nat.”

“I know you did.” She nodded, wiping her tears as you brought her in a kiss.

“I wanna be with you.” You say softly.

“You’ve had me Y/N.” She cried, wrapping her arms around you snuggling into your side. “How… How are the kids taking this?”

“Finley doesn’t really understand but she loves you so, I know she won’t be too put off. Beth on the other hand is upset. She doesn’t understand. She probably won’t until she’s older, and that’s okay. She refuses to speak to me right now. The moment we sat her down to discuss the divorce she pushed me out, and said she never wants to see me again.”

“Baby.” Natasha cried holding your hand. “Baby she doesn’t mean it.”

“I know.” You sniffled feeling Natasha wipe your tears. “She loves her mom very much. I can't be the one to tarnish that image. When she cools down I’ll talk to her again.”

“Beth loves you Y/N so much. I know she does, you know she does. You’re right she just needs some time divorce is not easy on a 12 year old. Are they home?”

“Beth is at school and I think Quinn is at her sisters with Fin. She said she didn’t want to see me here.”

“So she knows?”

“Ohhhh yeah she knows I’m with you.” You nod.

“Is she mad? Like burn down my house mad?”

“No actually, just like she’s finally let me go. I think her seeing our old friends really helped knock some sense into her as well. Plus as much as I hate to say it Rachel is kind of helping her move on.”

“So she’s more so upset with herself and her actions?”

“That’s what I got from it in court, but I thought maybe it was a ruse. Anyway, enough about my ex wife and open your next present.”

You handed Natasha a wrapped gift. She looked up, raising her brow looking down at the Christmas themed paper and bow. “You wrapped this?” 

“Of course! I’m a black belt at gift wrapping.” You grinned.

She giggled while opening the gift only to see a Fisherman’s sweater. “Ohhh I love it.” She says holding it up seeing something fall out of the sweater she frowns grabbing it before Leho can get it.

The scenic view of the East coast of Maine

“I thought since you’re taking a break right now maybe you and I can take a road trip all the way to Maine? Or we can just-“

Natasha tackles you in a hug “I love it.” 

“Are you sure? Cause it’s cold and if you’d rather just go somewhere more tropical I can still change it.”

“Nope, I’ve never been upstate. I think that’s a great idea.”

“Alright I guess pack for a week and then get dressed for brunch cause Wanda is currently making you a fabulous brunch for your birthday right about now.”

“Oh my gosh!” Natasha stood up running up the stairs packing for the winter vacation.

You chuckled looking down at Leho “Don’t worry I won’t make you join us in the car ride Yelena is going to stay here and take care of you.” The black cat purred and hopped up on your lap. “Yeah I figured you weren’t the car riding type.”

You stood up making your way up the staircase leaning against Natasha’s doorway when you notice something you thought you lost.

“Is that my hoodie?” You gasped “and my jacket!? I thought I lost them!”

“No, don't look!” Natasha groaned.

“You little thief!” You chuckled.

“They smelled like you.” She smiled, holding them up to her nose. 

You brought her in your arms pecking her lips. “I’ll be sure to rotate them so you always have something that smells like me then.” You lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes and smiled. “Now it smells like you.”

“So sweet.” She muttered before kissing you once more. She turned in your arms as she continued her packing.

You moved her hair to the side and left small kisses from her shoulder to her neck.

“Hmm, I missed you.” She sighed.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” You held her from behind burying your nose in her hair.

“I think I have an idea.” Natasha’s fingers ran through your hair, her body arching into you. 

Nat lifted her phone showing you a video that Mike sent her.

“Dude what are you doing?” Mike giggled using his video to see what you were looking at. “Is that Natasha?”

“Maybe.” You purse your lips coyly slightly drunk. 

“Why are you looking at her picture? You weirdo.” Santana cackled.

“I miss her.” You shrugged.

“Aww!” Kurt frowns, hugging your head. “Me too!”

“Oh my God! You’re such a simp. This is your boo Natasha. Out here cryin’ in da club.” 

You all started cackling before the video came to an end.

“I’m gonna kill him.” You shook your head.

“I thought it was sweet.” She smiled, turning in your arms. You widen your stance so you can be at eye level. “Don’t be embarrassed baby, I'm your woman.”

“My woman, I love the sound of that.” You grin, smooching her lip feeling her hands massage your shoulders.

“Anything else you need to show me or tell me about?” You chuckled.

“No.” She smirked looking away.

“You sure?” 

“I may have also seen you guys sing Don’t Stop Believing and some of your friends dm’ed me that they’re happy for us. That’s all. Again! I thought it was sweet.” The redhead beauty smiled, pecking your lips before smacking your ass and making her way to the bathroom. 

“Hm.” You grunted.

She began grabbing her toiletries in a bag she looked over seeing you laying down feet off the bed. Your arms wrapped around her pillow, eyes closed for a brief moment while she packs. She smiles looking at you she’s wanted you for so long now, and it’s finally happening.

You mentally went through the checklist again. The cooler is packed with snacks and drinks. You have the snow chains on already extra in the back just in case. Your suitcase is packed, the rest of the presents are in the back, blankets, pillows, some extra wood, alcohol and mixers, champagne, some groceries in an extra cooler, and Tony’s keys to his cabin.

You could hear her walking around quietly as she packs up her suitcase when you felt some weight on your legs.

“Okay! I’m ready!” She sang she lifted up on her knees as you flipped over.

“Hmmm okay baby.” You yawned while stretching.

Natasha straddled you and you let your hand lightly rub her thick thighs. She leaned down kissing you softly inhaling you as she broke the kiss.

“We… don’t have any extra time… do we?”

“We…” you looked at your watch. “Do not.” You sigh.

“But it’s my birthday.” She sticks her bottom lip out with a frown dry humping you. “I can be a little late.”

You groan feeling her lips suck on your sweet spot and rub against your other sweet spot.

“You and I both know we’re not gonna wanna go just one round. Besides, I don't really want our first time as a couple to be a quickie.” You chuckle, slapping her ass. “Come on birthday girl. 

She whines getting off of you and you grin standing up taking her bags. 

“What about Leho?” She said sadly while picking up her baby.

“Yelena is going to take care of her and the house.” You muttered the last part.

“Oh God okay just let me write out something real quick, and put the flowers in a vase.”

“Alright I’ll put these in the truck.”

Natasha wrote out a quick message asking her sister to water the plants, the new flowers you just gave her, and what times to feed Leho. She even gave her some money for food just in case.

Natasha walked out seeing a cover over your truck bed. “Since when have you had that?”

“Oh it came with it, I just never had a chance to use it.” You chuckled. “Are those your balloons?” You chuckled.

“I just got them, it's bad enough I have to leave my flowers.”

You grinned walking over taking them from her and walking over to Wanda’s. You knocked and she told you both to come in from the Stark bell. You open the door letting her through first hearing all her friends say “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

“Oh my gosh you guys!” Natasha smiled seeing all of her friends.

Wanda ran over bringing her in a big hug. “Ohhh I love you, happy birthday!” She cooed.

“Happy birthday!” Pietro smiled, giving her a hug as well. “Just so you know my gift is me getting up early to help Wanda.” His older sister smacked him and Natasha laughed. “Hey what’s up Y/N.” He smiled, giving you a hug.

Wanda led you both towards the end of the table giving Natasha a tiara, her breakfast plate and a mimosa.

Breakfast went on and then the gifts began.

“This is from me and Buck. Happy birthday Nat we love you.” Steve smiled with Bucky's arm around him.

“Oh wow thank you guys!” Natasha looks down at the brand new Glock and set of bullets. 

“That’s the new G29 it’s beautiful.” Steve explains.

“Oh my God.” Vis gasps lowly he hates guns. Wanda takes his hand. Natasha closes the case and thanks Steve and Bucky before you take it and safely set it aside.

“Jeez.” You hear Tony mutter as he drinks his mimosa.

“Happy birthday love.” Laura smiles with Clint grinning behind her.

It was a framed photo of Natasha and you with all the kids at the fair. Along with a little Hawaiian statue.

“Thank you Laura.” Natasha smiled showing you the picture. You smiled looking at her. “It’s sweet, I'll make sure to put it up before we leave.”

“Just make sure to keep the statue with you.” Clint cackled.

“Oh Clint.” Laura smacked him.

“What is this?”

“We got it during our trip to Hawaii. It’s a fertility statue.”

“It fucking works.” Clint raised his brows looking at the two of you.

You and Natasha chuckle a bit.

“I’m serious we were having some trouble with Nate and well that little fucker helped. So when you’re ready just make sure he’s around for the action.”

You chuckled turning red scratching the back of your neck.

“Those Hawaiians, dude they know they’re shit.” Clint punched your arm. “I know you’ve got a couple so be sure to wrap it before you tap it from now on it’s like magic.”

“Clint for the love of God.” Laura whined.

Natasha placed the frame and statue in her purse before the next guest came over. You took her hand rubbing circles on her palm.

“You okay?” You ask near her ear.

“I just need to go to the bathroom right quick.” She nods and pecks your hand.

You look at her slightly worried before looking towards Wanda. “I should-“

“Go.” She nods.

You stand and rush upstairs.

“Damn it Clint I told you not to put that in there.” Laura groaned covering her face.

“What? What’s wrong-“

“Nat, can’t have children.” She said in his ear.

“Fuck.” 

You reach the master bath and knock softly. “Baby?”

The door swings open and she pulls you in a kiss.

“Whoa.” You manage to say as she hums in your mouth. “Honey?”

“I need you Y/N.” She husks. “I need you so bad and we don’t have much time.” 

“Nat, I think you might not be dealing with this the right way. Just take a breather-“

“Y/N please.” She whines against your lips, her hands on your belt. “Please baby I need you so badly right now. It won’t take much. I know this isn’t what you had in mind for our first time as a couple to be in Wanda’s bathroom, but please! I need you inside of me.” 

“Talia, my love please just take a second.”

“Love?” Natasha freezes.

“This wasn’t how I was going to tell you.” You squeezed your eyes shut. 

“You love me?” She asks in surprise.

“So much. I’ve been wanting to say those words for a while now.” You chuckle, bringing her against you.

“I’ve longed to hear those words from you.” She whispered.

“I just wanted to wait until it was finally over. Until I had it in writing for you.”

“I know my love.” She whispers, kissing you softly. 

“I hope I was worth the wait.”

“You are always worth it. I love you so much.” She smiles, laying her forehead against yours.

You pull her into a hug just as she begins to cry.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me. I felt so sad and then you came up to take care of me and I’ve just never had that before-“ she started to tear up.

“It’s okay you’re allowed to feels things. Clint hit a sore spot.”

“I missed you so much Y/N.” She sniffled as you wiped away her tears.

“I missed you too, baby. I missed all of you. I missed your laugh, your smile, the way your voice gets gravely when you're sleepy or just woke up, your cooking, your kisses. Your beautiful body. The way I feel when I’m inside of you and the noises I bring out of you. I’m so in love with you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either. Yelena tried making me watch a ton of other shows. Wanda included. I would find myself thinking of you or if you’d call me. Or even text. I was always checking my phone.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out enough.”

“You did better after I told you. We just have to communicate better.”

“We will.” You nod.

“We should go back out there.” She says softly caressing your cheek. 

“Okay.” You stand up from your crouched position and help her off the toilet seat. She fixes your hair and takes the lipstick off your face.

“Lovely.” She nods.

“Stop, you're making me blush.”

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You both come back down and no one makes a comment, they just continue on like nothing happened.

“You okay?” Wanda asks in Russian.

Natasha nods happily. “Oni skazali mne, chto lyubyat menya.” (They told me that they love me.)

“Finally!” Wanda sighed in relief.

Natasha rolled her eyes playfully.

You lean over to Tony when you notice everyone giving you the wink. “So I take it, everyone knows my plan for the cabin?”

“Yup.” Tony nods.

“Got it. So who told?”

“Who do you think?”

You scanned the table. “Scott told Louis?”

“Of course he did.” Tony huffed.

“As long as Nat doesn’t hear about it.”

“She won’t, don’t worry. You got the papers?”

“Yup showed Nat before coming over here.”

“Pepper, give you the keys?”

“Yes sir.”

“Alright.” Tony chuckled. “Don’t be nervous. You got this kid.”

You nodded with a grin before looking over at Natasha who looked down at her gift. It was an ant farm that Scott gave her. 

“I said grab an Aunty Anne’s gift card because she loves they’re pretzels. Why would she want an ant farm Scott?”

“I don’t know why would she want a gift card to Aunty Anne’s?” He huffed. “Besides, ants are way cooler!”

“It’s okay, this is pretty cool, thank you.” Natasha smiled nodding she���ll just give it to Finley.

“Hey Scott.” You smiled right before nut punching him.

“Oh fuck.” Scott gasped nearly toppling to the floor.

“Y/N?!” Natasha scolded you.

“It’s just this game we play at work. Right Scotty? This game about not telling Louis certain things.”

“Yup.” He smiled through the pain waving Natasha off. Steve and Bucky cringed.

“Kind of what he gets; what a big mouth.” Bucky muttered.

“I fucking told you not to tell Louis.” Hope whispered harshly.

“I know.” He gasped as she helped him over to his chair.

“I’ll get you some ice.” Vis nods standing up.

“Thank you.” Scott groaned.

Natasha glared at you once more and you shrugged it off. “He lost the game. I don't know what to tell ya.”

“That was hilarious.” Clint chuckled while getting another mimosa as Thor fell out of his chair laughing. 

“You know you deserved that shit right?.” Val snickered looking at Scott.

“Come on babe get up.” Jane said to Thor who had tears in his eyes from laughter.

“Happy birthday Natasha!” They said together, handing her a tiny gift bag. Thor was still snickering to himself.

“Oh thank you so much!” It was a gift card to Lululemon. 

Soon Val and Carol were up.

“I would say happy birthday but I think this one is a little more for my mate Y/N over here.” Val snickered, winking at you and Carol rolled her eyes.

Natasha ripped open the paper and the white box to find a set of sexy lingerie. The redhead opted out of showing everyone and kept it in the box she didn’t even show you instead she thanked them with a hint of blush on her cheeks. Carol leaned down and whispered in her ear. You wondered what it was because her eyes widened and Carol giggled before taking Val’s hand and taking their seats.

“You alright?” You asked.

“Hmhm.” She nodded, taking a gulp of her drink.

“For Pepper and Tony’s gift they’re letting us stay in their Cabin.” 

“Oh thank you.” Natasha said towards Pepper and Tony.

“Of course but we also got you this.” Pepper handed Natasha a bottle of wine. “It’s one of my all time favorites. I think you’ll like it.”

“It also gets her going if you know what I mean.” Tony mutters lowly toward you.

You chuckled while taking a sip of your drink. 

Soon it’s nearly 2 pm and now you’re way off schedule.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Wanda says softly as you help her clean up.

“Do not apologize Wands. It’s okay, seriously we can make a pit stop at a hotel. It's not that bad plus I wanted us to take our time getting up to Maine.”

“Still you had the whole day planned.” She said sadly.

“The plan can still go on tomorrow.” You smile.

“Okay I am ready.” Natasha smiled lazily, still a bit buzzed from all the mimosas.

“Go on. I’ve got it from here.”

You grab the presents and Natasha insists on giving the ant farm to Finley so you leave it on the front door with a note and leave the framed photo of the fair in Nat’s home before she says farewell to Yelena.

“Happy birthday Cestra.” She smiles at her drunk sister then at you before handing her a little gift.

“What’s this?” Natasha frowns seeing a check.

“I wanna help pay you back for the clock tower.”

“Lena-“

“No buts plus I figured maybe it’ll help bring our parents back from Russian? I know you had to use that money to send me to school and bring me here and fix the tower so… yeah.”

“Aww.” Natasha cried, bringing Yelena in a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go.” Yelena wipes her eyes smiling at you. “Take care of my sister. She’s precious cargo.”

“With my life.” You smile helping Natasha walk to the truck. “You wanna lay down in the back? I can make a bed.”

“Not unless you’re gonna lay down with me.” Natasha mumbles hopping in the truck.

You chuckle before shutting the door and getting in the driver's seat. You both wave to Yelena before driving away.

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When you’re finally out of New York Natasha notices how beautiful the mountains look.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“It is really cold, but smell the air.” You slow down a bit and roll down the window.

She breathes the air in smiling as she closes her eyes. “Wow, it smells so good!” . 

You slow down pulling over seeing a maple candy stand.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a maple candy stand. I’m gonna get you some wanna stay in the truck?”

“No!” She hops out and watches you buy some candy as she picks up a red leaf and breathes in the mountain air.

Along the road she asks if you can stop at certain places and of course you oblige by getting her little trinkets and taking random photos.

You both eat snacks from the cooler and sing along to every song she wants to hear occasionally listening to a podcast. You finally stop when it gets too dark somewhere in Vermont. You stop by a diner.

“This place is so cute.” Natasha smiles seeing how retro everything looks.

“Well hello sweethearts my name is Eve what can I getcha?” An older woman walks up with a big smile.

“We will take the lovers lane.” Natasha orders off the menu.

“Okay! I haven’t seen yall out here before where ya from?” 

“New York, it’s her birthday we figured we make a road trip out of it and go up state.”

“Oh well that’s fun, welcome to town! I’ll tell ya what I’ll bring you a slice of pie on the house!”

“Thank you Eve!” Natasha smiled.

You dug into your pockets looking for change.

“What are you doing?” Natasha smirked.

“I’m looking for quarters.” You grinned nodding towards the mini jukebox.

The redhead grabbed her purse taking out .50cents. “Here.”

“You pick it’s the fun part.” You grinned, pushing her hand away.

Natasha smiled and put the change in before choosing an oldie.

“Great choice.” You grinned hearing the doo-wop in the beginning.

“My love must be a kind of blind love. I can’t see anyone but you.” She smiled lovingly at you as you blushed.

‘(Sha bop sha bop)

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Dance with me?”

‘(Sha bop sha bop)

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Here?” 

‘(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Right here.” You stand up offering your hand which she happily accepts.

‘Are the stars out tonight (sha bop sha bop)’

You bring her close swaying in the diner.

‘I don't know if it's cloudy or bright (sha bop sha bop)

I only have eyes for you dear’

“I love you.” Natasha says softly caressing your cheek.

(Sha bop sha bop)

“I love you too.” You say looking down into her eyes.

‘The moon may be high

(Sha bop sha bop)’

There’s only one other patron in the diner and they can’t help but smile seeing the two of you dancing.

‘But I can't see (sha bop sha bop) a thing in the sky

I only have eyes for you’

“Eve, put their dinner on my tab.” The patron smiled.

‘I don't know if we're in a garden

Or on a crowded avenue

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“They do look so in love don’t they?” Eve smiled watching you and Natasha sway to the music.

‘You are here

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“I don’t ever wanna stop this train with you.” She whispers.

‘And so am I

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“I don’t ever plan on stoppin’.” You lean down pecking her lips gently.

‘Maybe millions of people (sha bop sha bop) go by

But they all disappear from view

And I only have eyes for you’

You both take your seats just as the food came out.

“This looks amazing.” You grin.

“Here baby you pick the next song while we eat.” Natasha hands you a couple quarters.

“Welllllllll…You know you make me wanna shout! Kick my heels up and shout!”

“So good.” You both said as you ate your burgers. “Might have to come back just for this.”

“I know!” She chuckled.

You both ate and laughed as you spoke about your days apart. 

“What made you wanna do this?” She asked, drinking her milk shake.

“Well we were hungry-“

“I meant this trip. Smartass.” Natasha smirked.

“I just felt like we’ve been apart for a long time and wanted to make up for it.” You explain with a light shrug.

Just as Eve promised, a slice of Pie arrived and you both somehow managed to eat every piece of it.

“Thank you so much Eve, this dinner was so good we might just have to make the trek back out just for your food.” Natasha smiled.

“Please do!” Eve laughed.

“Where do I pay Ms. Eve.”

“Actually the gentleman that was in here paid for your meal. He just said he was heartwarmed to see how in love you both are. Made him remember his wife.”

“Oh well now I feel terrible for not being able to thank him.” You pout.

“Don’t be he just wanted to do something nice for you both.”

“Well please tell him we said thank you.” Natasha smiled warmly.

“Of course!” Eve smiled picking up the plates that you stacked at the end of the table.

You left a hefty tip before getting back in the truck and heading towards the hotel.

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“Oh no I’m so sorry I thought we had two beds when we spoke on the phone but it turns out that room is being remodeled. We only have one room left with one king bed.” The front desk girl frowned.

“Oh just the one huh?” You clear your throat, shuffling your feet. You knew if you took that room keeping your hands to yourself would seem difficult.

“You’re absolutely sure there’s only one left.” You ask once more.

The front desk girl sighed and said. “If you don’t want the room-“

“We’ll take it.” Natasha huffed, rolling her eyes at you. “Y/N, if you don’t want to share a bed with me-“ 

“I’m sorry it’s not that at all, not even a little bit you know that.” You bite your lip seeing her nod at you. Natasha took the key. “It’s just- I don’t want you to think just cause I did all this means you have to put out. That’s all. I just want you to be comfortable.”

Natasha smiles softly and pecks your lips. “You’re sweet, and I’m making you start to overthink things because of how I’ve been acting and I’m sorry.”

“Nat, no apologizing. This is new for us… I’ve never been with another woman besides Quinn, and you’ve never been with someone like me. We just need to get in the groove again… I’m gonna park the truck you go on ahead and I’ll bring up our things.”

She nodded before walking off. Natasha kept telling herself to stop over thinking as well you both fell for one another as friends. The only things that’s changed is now there’s nothing holding you both back. You’re both free to be together.

You tiredly made your way to the room. Walking in only to hear the shower running. You quickly change when you hear the water stop. She walks out right as you switch shirts.

Natasha gulped, gripping the door handle.

“Hey.” You smile trying not to blush at the fact that she’s only in a towel.

“Hi.” She smiles a tint of blush across her dewy cheeks. “I forgot you were bringing up the suitcases and got ahead of myself. Can I borrow something to sleep in?”

“I got you.” You grinned getting off the bed. You rummaged through your suitcase finding an extra set of boxers and an old football t-shirt. You walked them over handing them to her.

“Thanks.” She whispers, looking at you. 

“Oh! Sorry.” You chuckled turning around.

She smiled as you turned towards the wall. That’s not why she was staring. She was staring because all she had on was a towel and all she wanted to do was drop it. Just to have you worship her body, but she can tell you’re exhausted. Mentally and physically you just need to rest. Natasha knows damn well if she ignites that fire in you it won’t be put out until it’s time for you both to leave the hotel. She shook her thoughts before dropping the towel not missing the way it made you squirm. 

She inhaled the fresh scent of your boxers and t-shirt. 

“Don’t worry I just washed them before we left.” You chuckled, rubbing your neck. Desperately trying not to look at her through the small reflection on the lamp.

“I’d hope so.” She teased you. “You can turn around now.” She let the shirt fall on her just as you turned around. You gulped seeing the bottom of her breasts and the small freckle on her rib cage.

She climbs into bed laying next to you when she turns on her side. “Thank you for today. Best birthday ever.” She smiled dreamily before leaning over kissing your cheek softly.

“Yeah?” You goofily grin before yawning. You could already feel your exhaustion take over your body as your girl played with your hair.

“Hmhm, you got your divorce, gave me breakfast with all my friends at Wanda’s. You told me you love me. Then we spent the day driving through the mountains. It’s been amazing.” She giggled. “I’ve never had anyone do anything like this for me before, thank you Detka.”

“I didn’t even get to give you the rest of your presents.” You said sleepily trying to sit up only for her to stop you.

“You can give them to me when we’re at the cabin.”

“You sure?” You asked halfway asleep.

“Yes.” She smiles. “Don’t worry about them right now. Everything is perfect today was perfect. You’re perfect.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I love you Talia.” You closed your eyes snuggling into your pillow feeling the way her nails grazed your skin and hair as you drifted off to sleep.

“I love you too baby.”

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You wake to the sound of your phone alarm clicking on. The soft strums of Creature Fear by Bon Iver in the air. You hum out feeling warmth against your chest and feeling the sun shine on your face. Slightly upset that you forgot to close the curtain, but the view of the mountains is just too beautiful to stay cranky. You start to realize you’re spooning Natasha and your cock is rock hard as it always is first thing in the morning. Your cock was throbbing feeling the heat from Natasha’s body. 

You slowly lift your head looking down at your entwined legs. You briefly wonder how and when this happened throughout the night. Then you wonder if you can untangle yourself without waking her so you can shower. You look down at your arms. One is under her and the pillow with half her hand in yours and the other arm was wrapped around her with her arm laid over yours and fingers threaded through yours. You tangled yourselves throughout the night.

Her head turned slowly, her eyes wide open. She must have been awake for some time. It’s silent and you’re just admiring her underneath the morning sun. She was breathtaking. You felt like you forgot how to breathe just by looking into her eyes. Natasha was the first to wiggle her fingers bringing your attention to your hands. You stretched your fingers locking them in with hers before looking back into her emerald eyes. She looked down at your covered cock poking her right where she wanted it. You felt the air leave your lungs when she pushed her ass against your throbbing cock. 

The moment her hooded eyes looked from your hardened member to you. Almost in an instant you forgot about everything and all you saw and all you wanted was her. Like a silent agreement you both threw caution to the wind. Letting your lips meet in a passionate kiss. Breathing one another in deeply before your hands let go of hers. You needed to feel her everywhere. You cupped her face inhaling her before letting one hand roam down her back towards her ass and the other threaded through her soft auburn hair. 

She moaned, feeling you squeeze her ass. Her hands were hooked under your arms. Fingernails grazing your back. You stopped for a second letting her take off your shirt. You moaned, feeling her lips against your chest. Kissing somehow tenderly and with haste. You briefly stop her so you can take her shirt off her immaculate body.

“What?” she giggled seeing your jaw slack.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful, but you know I know you’re so much more than that… right?” 

She smiled softly, caressing your cheek. “I know.” She pushed you back getting off the bed before turning towards you. You moved to the edge letting your feet hit the cold carpet of the hotel. You hook your arms around her waist looking up at her as your fingers toe the edge of waistline. The Russian woman bit her lip nodding as you pushed the boxer shorts down.

You lay your head against her abdomen, softly kissing her as you inhale her sweet scent. Before your lips could kiss any further down she stopped you. 

“Your turn.” She smirked her nails scraping against your shoulders.

You were brought back to your throbbing dick you grimaced standing up.

“You’ve been hard for over an hour now. I’m assuming you’re in pain?” Her brow kinked.

“Just sensitive.” You hissed, letting it flop out of the hole of your boxers. “You’ve been up for an hour now?”

She licked her lips staring at your long thick bulging cock. She sat you down kissing you gently before getting on her knees. “Yes and you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

“You don’t have-“ you cleared your throat.

“I want to… don’t you want my mouth?” She husked; hand now holding your meat.

“God yes.” You whined caressing her jaw.

She smirked before focusing on your shaft. She let her lips kiss the head before letting her tongue swirl around causing you to twitch and shudder. You let one hand hold her hair, just as she brought all of you in her mouth, her tongue and mouth sucking you like it’s the last time she’ll have you. Her hands leave your cock and lay against your flexing abs; her nails grazing down. “Oh my G-“ you inhale. 

“Fuck.” You sighed watching her bobb, her head eyes fixed on yours. “Deeper.” You whispered, you could feel her tonsils on your cock as she obeyed. Her hands on your thighs before letting you go with a pop, and moving down to your balls.

“Natasha.” You husked feeling your toes curl. You gently stopped her before pulling her on your lap quickly switching positions to lay her down. You watched as she lifted her body up by her elbows as you got on your knees gently spreading her legs apart. You smirked before letting your tongue dive into her.

“Ohhh” she whimpered and moaned. 

“Fuck me, you’re drenched.” You let two of your fingers dip in before showing her the wetness. “So sexy.” You whispered before putting her wetness on your cock and pumping the throbbing shaft. As you pumped you dove back in moaning at her taste. “You taste so good, Talia.”

“Shit Y/N I’m already so close.” She whined.

You quickened your tongue's pace and let go of your throbbing member to let a couple digits enter her. Her hips bucked as you moved your fingers. You listened to her as if breaking open a safe. Listening for any indication of her spot. 

A loud guttural moan came when you did. You smirked going faster as her moans grew louder and her body unable to lay still. She gripped your hand and head before humping into your face, shaking as she came undone.

You stood wiping your mouth before sucking on your fingers. She closed her thighs at the sight needing some friction.

She sat up and gasped at the soaked edge of the bed. You smiled before lifting her up onto you kissing her with want.

“Hmm.” She moaned in the kiss before opening her eyes looking down at you. She reached below her, taking you in her hand guiding you to the place you both have been aching for.

“Oh my God.” You sighed laying your forehead against hers. Feeling the tip of your member enter her.

You both moaned as she slid down your shaft.

“Fuck.” You felt your grip loosen before lifting her back up moaning at the movement. You froze seeing her grimace.

“What’s wrong, should I stop?” You asked, worried you hurt her.

She kissed your worries away wiping your brow lines

“You’re just… really big… I’m just adjusting.” She blushed. You pulled out causing her to whimper. 

“Standing up needs some work. Okay.” You make a note of it as you gently lay her down before following suit. She spread her legs for you to lay between. She moaned at the touch of your tongue against her lips. 

“I need you inside me baby.” She husked in your ear, breaking the kiss.

You both looked down as you took your cock rubbing it between her folds. Gathering all the wetness before slowly entering her.

“Sooooo tight.” You whispered, feeling her velvet walls clamping down around you. You stayed still letting her adjust to your girth and length and enjoying the way her warmth feels. “Gah damn I will never get tired of you baby!” You smiled leaning down to kiss her.

“I’m gonna have to remember pelvic floor exercises.” She giggled as she brushed your hair back. 

“I’m madly in love with you.” You smiled Natasha brought you down kissing you as she whimpered as her hips bucked into you giving you the go ahead. You slowly pumped in and out. 

“Oh my God!” She moaned out as your lips left hers to nibble on her sweet spot.

“That’s it baby you’re doing so well.” You groaned out as you continued your rhythm as she whimpered beneath you. Your eyes fluttered closed as you paused your motions pushing in deeper. 

“Oooh that feels so good Y/N.” Natasha wiggling her pelvis against you.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been this deep inside of you like this.” You groaned, placing a hand on the headboard driving your pace faster.

“I know baby I don't even think I can hold on for much longer.” She gasps, clawing at your back bringing you down against her. “God I love you so much!”

You’re both moaning as you move together. Your teeth clashing in your kisses. You’re both breathing one another in as you cum around one another.

“Fuck baby.” She gasps. “Oh daddddy.” 

“Oh Natasha! Fuuuck!” You groan, spilling your seed deep inside of her. “Ohhh yeah look at that baby.” You say lathering your thick honey along her glistening pussy.

You both pant when the phone rings it’s time to check out and your alarm with Bon Iver starts over again after its snooze.

“How long do we have?” She asks, kissing your back.

“A couple hours.”

“Then come back to me.” She smirks.

You grin, rubbing her arm around your chest that begins to make its way to your meat.

“Hmm.” You groan feeling her pumping you as she nibbles your ear. “The faster we’re out of here the faster I can have you in that cabin, and really take my time with you.” 

“How long is the drive?” She asks, kissing your shoulders.

“About 4 more hours.” You cringed, seeing her look at you with her brows furrowed.

“Yeah no you’re making love to me one more time. Really Y/N 4 hours?!”

“I’m sorry.” You say feeling her pull you to the shower. You shove your underwear down before stepping in.

“Multitasking at its finest baby.” She smirked, kissing you as the warm water fell over you.

“Hmm, I hope you know the moment we step foot in that cabin and I’ve got all our shit inside-“

“What? The pussy monster is coming out?”

“Who?” You furrowed your brows and she giggled kissing you under the water.

“Well I hope the pussy monster does come out.” She mutters against your lips, feeling you smirk and your cock stand at attention.

You lift her up and against the wall and you slide in.

“Who says the pussy monster isn’t here right now?” You say in a voice so gravely and low that makes her drip around your thick cock. You choke her as you begin to roughly hump inside of her sliding her ups down against the cold tile wall.

“Ohhhh fuckkkkk!” She moans, hooking her hands behind your neck.

“That’s it baby girl.” You say.

“Fuuuuuckkk!” She whines feeling you hit her center.

“You like that, my naughty girl?”

“So much!” She gasps.

“You love it when the pussy monster comes out.”

“So much daddy so much.” 

“You’re my cum slut aren’t you? You like it when I cum deep inside of you.” You roughly grab her jaw.

“Oh my gosh yesss so much I love the way it feels, and the way you lather it all over my pussy when I cum on your cock daddy.”

“Me too baby.”

“I also love it when you cum on my tongue you taste so good.”

“Fuck.” You groan, feeling yourself cuming.

“Oh my gosh baby you feel so good inside me.” She cries as pivot your hips letting her walls clamp around you and juicing your cock.

“Shit Talia.” You both look down seeing you pull out and your creams landing on your cock on for you to lather it on her pussy and push inside of her once more. “Give me another baby girl. I’m still so hard for you.” You say lowly near her ear.

“Fuck.” She whimpers and nods before tapping you to let her down. You gently set her down and watch her spin around against the tile. You take hold of her hips and begin watching your cock disappear over and over again.

“Your ass is so fucking amazing. This pussy is velvet baby don’t get me wrong but when can this monster cock try that little ass hole?” You husk near her ear.

“When you let me try your little ass hole.” She smirks looking back at you before handing you the soap bar and a scrub.

“Touché.” You stroke inside of her as you sud her body up. It feels even better when you bring your bodies together. “Fuck I’m close!” You growl near her ear.

“Cum then daddy.” She bites your lip and your fucking her so hard and fast your skin is slapping against one another echoing in the shower. You wrap your arms around her, and lift her up causing her to yelp as you cum inside of her. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!” You groan emptying your load before setting her back down. You pull out and push back in letting her cum around you and gently letting her ride out her orgasm.

“Shit.” You pant feeling your cock slip out and watching your creams go down the drain.

She smiles, hooking her arm around you, kissing you languishly.

“How’d we get in here?” You asked, looking around causing her to giggle and kiss you once more.

“Shut up and wash my hair.” 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you. Yesterday, what did Carol whisper in your ear?”

Natasha turned smirking up at you as you washed her hair.

“Well first she said she and Val came over one day and heard us going at it. She also mentioned that I need to really work my hips.”

“They saw us?”

“Hmhm.”

“I really need to learn how to close the fucking blinds.” 

A/N: still cutting up chapters in parts because of how long they are.

Don’t forget to Reblog, comment, and like 🥰

[sansaorgana]

I need to know how Benny would react to his wife going into labor?

hello, darlings! I decided to use the first request for the requested part two of the fic where Reader is pregnant and tells Benny about it 💐😌

[ PART ONE ]

I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻

Lots of things had changed those past few months. With his ups and downs, Benny Cross had grown into a man who was worthy of becoming a father. He had found a job as a mechanic and although he was still riding with the club, he was no longer leaving you alone for a whole night and you had bailed him out only once those past few months. With the help of Johnny and a few other guys – mostly Cal – he had even managed to prepare a nursery in your house for the baby.

You both were scared, though, and it wasn’t even about the little baby joining your family soon. Benny was scared of failing and not meeting the standards he had set up for himself. He never wanted to be like his own father and disappoint. You, on the other hand, were scared that Benny would just… Break. Pop like a balloon after all those months of trying to be the most proper version of himself. That he’d eventually crack and need to unwind. You couldn’t forget about the fact that your husband was a wild mustang and wild animals would always remain unpredictable – even domesticated ones.

Your biggest fear was that it would happen after the baby would be born and you’d be left alone with a newborn child. If Benny disappeared on you like that, you would find it very difficult to forgive him. But you were nine months pregnant now and he was still with you, trying his best every day. It was making you more and more convinced that as long as the baby was still in your womb, he was fine. But what would he actually do when there would be a tiny human screaming in that crib Benny had built not so long ago? What would he do when there would be actual diapers to change?

However, sharing those doubts with him didn’t feel right. You didn’t want to be ungrateful – after all, he was the best version of himself for you and the baby lately. He had even stopped drinking so much beer. He was taking this new responsibility more and more seriously the bigger your belly grew because it was a proof that yes, it was true – he would become a father.

On that night you were haunted by those thoughts again. In fact, they were especially coming back during those long, sleepless nights and lately every night had been sleepless. Benny was snoring lightly next to you and you were jealous how easy it was for him to drift off to the land of dreams – you knew it was caused by his exhaustion after work but, let’s be real, he had never had problems with falling asleep. His head would touch the pillow and he was a goner that very moment.

You groaned quietly to yourself and changed position for the tenth time that night when suddenly, you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen, which made you hiss. However, you ignored it because those were happening once in a while. 

The pain came back, though, the very moment the previous one subdued completely. You sat up rapidly and held your swollen belly, not wanting to alarm your husband yet but he woke up on his own. Benny moved uncomfortably and opened his eyes lazily.

“You okay, kitty?” He mumbled out.

“I-I don’t know,” you admitted, honestly. Benny furrowed his brows and moved up as well, resting on his elbows as he watched you carefully.

“What do you mean?” He asked, nervously.

“It… Ouch, it hurts,” you told him and winced out of pain.

Benny sat up now and reached his hand to the small lamp on the nightstand table. He turned it on and moved back to you. His rough hands cupped your face and you saw nothing but pure panic in his baby blue eyes. You wanted to comfort him but another sharp pain filled your abdomen as you let out a hiss and groan.

“Fuck, I think it’s time, Benny,” you told him and glanced at the clock. “Wow, the little one really does have a sense of time! It’s three in the morning, god damn it,” you tried to joke a little but Benny didn’t even smile while his face turned a few shades paler.

You moved his wrists away and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to stand up slowly but after a short while, your husband snapped back to reality. He jumped out of bed and hurried to your side.

“No, no, no, you wait here, I… I gotta call Johnny, yeah? We gotta borrow Betty’s car and… Where’s your hospital bag?” He began pacing around the room.

“Benny, calm down, please, it’s not helping me,” you sighed. “The bag’s downstairs already, by the front door.”

Benny nodded and rushed out of the bedroom after grabbing a pair of trousers out of the wardrobe to put them on in the meantime. He was on his way to the telephone because you didn’t own your own car – yet. Thankfully, Johnny and Betty had told you that you could wake them any time and they’d take you to the hospital.

While waiting for him, you were sitting on the edge of your bed and caressing your bump slowly as you tried to take deep breaths in to calm yourself down. Benny was back upstairs very quickly and put on a simple white T-shirt before he approached you with a worried expression on his face.

“Listen, baby, they’re on their way now, we should get goin’,” he crouched down in front of you and rubbed your thighs soothingly. “How you feelin’?”

“Gonna be honest with ya, not very great, been better,” you chuckled at him but he didn’t find it funny. In fact, he looked… sorry? “It’s not your fault, Benny,” you assured him. “Well, technically…”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more. That I can’t make it stop hurting,” he confessed and you were a bit taken aback by such words from Benny Cross himself.

“I wouldn’t want you to feel this pain,” you only cracked a smile at him and caressed his face. “However, I wouldn’t mind sharing some of it with you,” you winked and he stood up to help you do that as well, very gently.

Benny held you by your arms and walked you out of the room. The stairs were the biggest challenge, however, with his gentle guidance and soft encouraging words, you managed to finally walk downstairs. Benny helped you to put a coat over your nightgown and he changed your shoes before grabbing the hospital bag and taking you outside where both Johnny and Betty had been already waiting in her car. It felt very nice to have them both there – they were a real family.

“Don’t worry, baby, it’ll be fine! I’ve been there twice!” Betty looked out of the car’s window to wave at you. “Jump in,” she opened the door and Benny helped you get inside. He placed the bag next to you and sat in the backseat, too.

“Thank you, Johnny,” he murmured and Johnny only nodded before starting the engine.

“Well, you can’t take her on the bike, can you?” Betty asked and you laughed as you imagined that.

“It would surely be a story to tell,” you pointed out.

“Benny, you okay?” Betty turned around to look at your husband and you turned your head to take a look as well. He was even paler than before now and his thigh was trembling. “You’re quiet… More than usual,” she pointed out.

“I’m fine,” he shrugged his arms.

You grabbed his hand to squeeze. You wanted to offer him some comfort but you also wanted to be able to relieve the tension whenever that sharping pain was filling your abdomen.

Thankfully, the hospital was not far away from where you lived. Johnny parked the car and all of you left the car. Johnny lit a cigarette and leaned on the vehicle but Betty joined you inside and you couldn’t be more grateful because Benny was so scared that he couldn’t answer any question asked by the receptionist and then the nurse.

“Are you staying with her?” Betty asked Benny and he gulped at the question. His panicked eyes found yours when you were laying on the hospital bed already; with a nurse preparing you for labour.

“You don’t have to, baby,” you assured him.

Of course you wanted him to be with you but you didn’t want to scare him even further or for him to make a scene and faint.

“I… I’m gonna stay,” Benny nodded at you and you furrowed your brows, surprised. “I just gotta smoke first,” he told you and you nodded back at him.

You watched him walk away and Betty approached you to squeeze your hand.

“He’s not comin’ back, is he?” You asked her.

“No, I don’t think so,” she chuckled and leaned in to kiss the top of your head. “Men aren’t much of a help anyway. You can do it, Mrs. Cross,” she winked at you and walked out as well.

You took a deep breath in and grinned back at an older nurse who had given you a sympathetic smile.

“Are you married for long, Mrs. Cross?” She asked you, trying to distract you from the painful contractions.

“Two years,” you answered.

“Ah, I see,” she hummed to herself. “That woman was someone from the family?”

“No, a friend. She and her husband took me to the hospital. My Benny didn’t buy a car yet,” you explained and she suddenly stopped smiling so nicely as if it was a crime to not be very wealthy. “He has a motorbike,” you told her but it only made her face turn even colder.

“Mhm, he’s one of those,” she commented and you didn’t say anything to that.

To your surprise, the door opened again and Benny walked back inside. You had never seen him in such a worried and stressed state but he sat right next to you and took your hand in his.

“I thought you wouldn’t come back,” you told him. “That you’d just smoke a pack or two outside the hospital until they tell you it’s over,” you explained what you meant.

“Johnny talked me out of it,” Benny confessed.

Few hours later, in the morning, you were already holding your little boy in your arms. You were exhausted and sleepy but you didn’t want to stop staring at his tiny face and beautiful little features. Everything about him was beautiful and fragile – tiny eyes, tiny nose, tiny head, tiny hands with tiny fingers and tiny feet with tiny toes. You watched in awe and Benny did, too, sitting by your side with one of his arms around you.

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered and kissed your temple.

“And I’m proud of you, Benny Cross. You haven’t even fainted,” you chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

Benny reached his finger out to brush your little son’s cheek but he quickly took it away.

“What is it?” You asked him with a furrowed brow.

“I don’t wanna hurt ‘im. My fingers are rough and all that,” he explained.

“Don’t be silly, Benny, you won’t hurt him by touching him gently,” you encouraged him to touch his son again and so he did, very carefully. “You see?”

Benny didn’t answer, focusing on his baby. The soft and loving look on his face suddenly made all your fears wash away. You no longer feared he would leave or run away from this responsibility. Of course, you weren’t delusional enough to think it would be easy. But something about him at this moment made you sure that choosing him as a father of your child was no mistake after all.

“How do you want to name him?” You asked. “After your father perhaps?”

“No,” Benny answered very quickly and cleared his throat before looking at your confused face. “My ol’ man was a piece of shit. My ma told me once that when I was born he was pissed drunk at the bar.”

You nodded your head and you suddenly understood. You understood why Benny had been so nervous and why he had come back to be with you during the labour after all.

“Don’t wanna be like him,” he confessed suddenly and looked down.

“You won’t be,” you assured your husband and kissed his cheek. “You won’t be, baby. You already aren’t,” you pointed out. “Do you wanna name him John?” You changed the subject.

Benny looked at you with a soft smile before placing a kiss on your forehead. Then, he looked down at the little baby in your arms and he bopped his son on the nose.

“Little Johnny Cross. Sounds good to me.”

MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST

[cherievol6]

in love in italy

hey!!! long time no see…sorry i’ve been off the grid - i’ve been working loads. i just randomly wrote this (I was feeling very poetic after reading Sally Rooney lmfao) hope you enjoy!

being with harry in Italy brings on some intense feelings that you just need to confess.

warnings: very brief mentions of sex, other than that it’s absolutely heart wrenching fluff.

word count: ~1k

.

You’ve never felt like this before.

At least, not when you're in the middle of having sex with someone.

This wasn't just someone though, it was Harry.

Sweet and gentle Harry, whom had made everything feel a little bit lighter for you since the moment you met. Here he was, skin so close to yours it felt like he was trying to meld you both together like clay. His head was dipped into your shoulder, his breaths heaving but blissful. You felt like a pot of boiling sugar bubbling up to a gooey caramel and oozing into the bed below you. He made you feel as though one look from him or one kiss from him would make you shed every negative piece of your mind.

"You okay? You're awfully quiet after that." He half laughs, referring to the intense scene of love that was just displayed in the early hours of the morning, in a random villa in Italy. You’d woken up to get a glass of water and returned to bed to find Harry awake. A quick good night kiss turned into wandering hands and clothes being stripped to the floor. It wasn't quick, or impatient, the way you'd held eachother. It was intense, and thick and heavy — like there was something lingering for the two of you. You feel a few tears slip to yours ears and on to the pillows. Harry still hasn't noticed, gently stroking the leg around his waist. You scratch your fingers in his hair and let out a shaky breath.

You always found it hard to hold in your cries, since you were small. They swelled your chest like a balloon, and with a sharp gasp of breath the balloon pops and Harry's snapping his head up quickly and brushing your hair out of your face.

"Woah, woah. What's wrong?" His voice is panicked and you don't find yourself trying to avoid his gaze, which is strange. You don't feel upset, you feel overwhelmed. Harry always said it scared him how every time you looked at him it felt like you were reading his mind.

You wipe the sweat from your brow, the warm room making you feel flushed. Or was it this nagging urge to tell Harry something you’d kept to yourself for so long, out of fear of scaring him off so early in your relationship.

You smile, and he must think you look manic, grin growing the more you look at him, his constant over concern for you, like he couldn’t bear to think of anything bad happening to you.

“I feel good.” You say quietly, running your thumb over his mole next to his mouth.

“Yeah? That’s good.” He kisses you softly.

“Do you feel good?” He nods at your question without hesitation.

His eyes seem to gloss over akin to yours, and the words are literally behind your teeth when he says, “Always when I’m with you. You make me feel so safe. I can’t describe it-”

“I love you so much, Harry.” The tears are no longer tears, rather streams of saltiness that saturate your hair and Harry’s hands. He seems to deposit the last of the air in his lungs before he can speak again. Like your words winded him.

“You love me?” His voice is timid, and his hand is now shaking.

“You know that thing, where people paint in acrylic on a canvas, and it looks good, but kind of dull? A bit moody?” Harry nods, with a small smile creeping up his face. You always were one for the metaphor, “and then they paint it with that shimmery gloss and it makes the painting look so different. Like it’s brand new, and you’re finally seeing it in its best form? That’s how you make me feel. I wasn’t bad before, I just needed something…or someone to make me more vibrant. You do that for me. And I love you for it.”

He laughs, and the movement makes his tears fall out of his eyes and on to your cheeks. You are the most emotionally intelligent person he’s ever met in his life and he can’t believe that you’re in love with him.

“You always come up with the most beautiful metaphors...” he kisses you again, like staring at your face for too long brings on the urge to just devour you whole. “I genuinely think my entire life was created to coexist with yours, and just hear every piece of your mind that you’ll let me.”

You pull him down again and kiss him again. You were insatiable for his kisses, they were like oxygen for you. He’s still crying, and you’re still crying, and all you can hear around you is his heavy heartbeat and the owls in the trees around you. Your favourite place to be with Harry was in his Italian house. It felt like no one in the world existed or cared about the two of you when you were within these walls.

“I love you. I have done for months and I will do for a lifetime. Okay?” His brows are pinched together, in a sincere and reassuring way. Like he needs you to know that he’s not going anywhere.

“Okay.” You smile widely, until your cheeks hurt and your eyes wrinkle. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Now that it’s out in the air it feels like the only form of communication between you both in this moment. Harry rocks against your hips and kisses your neck, and you begin to breathe shallow. You whine when he connects your lips again.

“Show me how much you love me, H.”

.

[tiredfox64]

hallo Hallo! I would like to make an request of female reader and Syzoth c:

So,I’ve seen and read many fanfic where the reader is clueless thus doesn’t understand the nature of the Zatteran. Which pisses me off. Let’s change that,Shall we? :3

An female who has bearded dragon pet thus *completely* understands the Zatteran’s nature. In what he eats,how he behaves,the shedding,mating season and such. Syzoth’s greatful for finding someone who gets him and they’re one perfect power couple >:D 💪🏻 I would like mostly be fluff. But if you wanna slip in some smut of mating season,Go ahead. ;3

Small reminder; you’re amazing and don’t forget to drink water to stay hydrated! <3

How to Care for a Zatteran

Yip notes: No YOU’RE AMAZING. You are speaking my language. I’d be happy to give my man what he needs.

Pairing: Syzoth x Afab reader

Warnings‼️: NSFW, biting, you get two for the price of one ayyyyyyy (what do you think I mean?)

Syzoth believed being in Earthrealm would be difficult for him. It is not a realm that has large lizards walking around. According to Johnny and Kenshi, if people did see a large lizard walking around there would be an uproar of conspiracy theories. The government might hunt him down thinking he was an alien that escaped Area 51.

No wonder Syzoth wasn’t too keen on getting to know other humans…except for you. You are like the sun to him. You are needed in his life. If you are not with him then what is left in his life? You get him on so many levels.

You have a great understanding of reptile behavior. You grew up with a love for all kinds of reptiles from colorful geckos to strong snakes and even tortoises that had to wear balloons to allow you to keep an eye on them. You sure know your stuff. You knew what was best for them when it came to environment and diet. That means you knew what was best for Syzoth.

If Johnny didn’t ask you to bring him crickets for Syzoth when he invited him to his mansion you wouldn’t have met your reptilian boyfriend. Because Syzoth couldn’t stand human food the only other option that Johnny could think of was bugs. He knew you had an abundance of bugs to feed your pet bearded dragon, Blondi. And boy was Syzoth happy to see you come towards him with a handful of dead crickets. His tail came out and curled up as his split tongue scooped up the crickets. You were amazed by his tail, not a hint of fear in your voice as you squealed about how cool it was. He was so excited by your enthusiasm that he presented his true form. The rest was history.

You adored him in both forms. He was a handsome human and a cute-faced giant lizard. He was glad to find someone who didn’t see him as a monster or even a freak for who he truly was. Though your bearded dragon was not a big fan of him. The first time Syzoth walked into your home, Blondi was tapping on the glass trying to pick a fight with him. He was bobbing his head like a rockstar, trying to tell your boyfriend that this was his territory. He didn’t back down when Syzoth went into his natural form. Your little guy was ready to put up a fight for you. Or he was ready to fight for his food. He can sense Syzoth is just as hungry as he is.

You did have delicious bugs in your home at all times. Crickets, mealworms, grasshoppers, hornworms, and more. You made him feel better about eating bugs in front of you once you told him that humans also eat bugs. He didn’t believe you at first since everyone he has come across has given him weird looks but you reassured him that it was true. Many cultures eat bugs and there are even some candies that have bugs inside of them. You brought out a bag of chapulines that were coated in lemon juice, chili, and garlic. He watched as you took some from the bag and popped them into your mouth. He got curious and wanted to try some for himself. It was fine for him to try since he isn’t a regular bearded dragon and he has a stomach full of corrosive acid. The chili would not end his existence.

He loved the chapulines so much that you started putting them in the salads you would make him. Syzoth wasn’t used to eating greens that often but seeing how Blondi ate it up he thought it would be good for him. After taking his first bite of that fresh mixture of cabbage, kale, zucchini, and bell peppers he was eating it up quickly. He startled Blondi who was trying to eat his mixture of bugs and vegetables on the same table. Geez and you thought Blondi was a messy eater. Syzoth was messier but at least he licked up his mess.

“Are you sure you don’t want to use a fork?” You asked as you scooted a fork closer to him.

His head popped up from the bowl with his tongue still wrapped around a bunch of cabbage and kale. His eyes looked between the fork and the bowl. His hand slowly crept towards the fork and swiped it off the table before diving his head back into the bowl. The loud sound of crunching continued until he was finished.

The love went beyond a good diet. You made shedding season easier on him.

Shedding in his natural form is never pleasant. It’s unpleasant for every reptile. So you did your best to ease his discomfort and complete the process faster. You went out and bought a kiddie pool that was just big enough to fit his giant lizard self. You bought a bunch of bottles of shedding aid to hydrate his skin and get the old skin off. A nice spray of mist from your garden hose and he was in heaven. The old skin didn’t feel so tight on him anymore. Syzoth was grateful for everything you did for him. You must have spent a lot on the shedding aid to ensure it would work on him.

It was all worth it once you saw how he relaxed. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly opened, showing off his sharp teeth. He was able to rid himself of old skin before deciding to eat it. What? He doesn’t want to leave a mess for you to clean up.

The only issue Syzoth has is with Blondi. He tried being nice and showing that he meant no harm. He waved so many times yet Blondi kept bobbing his head and tapping against his glass enclosure. He did not like sharing you with Syzoth. It would result in Blondi running towards Syzoth to give him a good fight. You would have to swoop him up and go into another room so you could peacefully handle your little guy.

Once you were done with one lizard you had to go to the other. Syzoth needed handling too even though he was larger than you. He liked resting his body against yours, using your chest as a pillow for him. Sometimes he would be in his human form and others he would be in his natural form. You preferred the human form just because it didn’t feel like he was crushing you. You took it like a champ in the end. You would run your hand from his neck and down his back. He wouldn’t let you go even when you begged him to.

Now that’s all fun and stuff, having basically another pet lizard who is also a person who you could talk to. Syzoth is loyal to you and adores you. The fact that you understood what he needed as a Zatteran brought him closer to you. You’re the only one who understands him. You understood him better than his own people did.

Tell me, lizard girl, what do you think happens when a man gets really invested in a woman? That’s right! He wants to mate!

You saw this coming from a mile away you can’t lie. It didn’t matter if his habits were more human or lizard he was still getting riled up by you. What man wouldn’t want a kind and caring woman who feeds him well and shows him unconditional love? It was only natural that Syzoth wanted to show you his love. He wanted to give you his children and protect you till his very last breath. But he understands that humans don’t work the same way. Your “mating rituals” are more complex while his could be seen as too animalistic even for you.

Is that gonna stop his natural instincts from kicking in? Fuck no. Nature is an unstoppable force and when it’s go time, it’s freaking go time.

You noticed the change in Syzoth. He was putting in a lot of effort to let you know he was attracted to you even though you knew that beforehand. The pheromones he produced in his natural form would not work on you so you had to go off of visual clues. While in his human form, he bobbed his head a lot and stomped the ground, causing things to shake. It caught your attention and you would stare at him while wondering if that was necessary. His green eyes would stare at you, waiting to see if you would run away or move into a certain position.

“It’s mating season already? Gosh, I should check on Blondi.” You teased Syzoth, acting like you wouldn’t help him before you got up from the couch.

Because you walked away, he took that as you playing hard to get. He gave chase. You were barely down the hallway before you felt his arm wrap around your waist. He put all his weight against your body, causing you to go down. He wasn’t forcing you down on the ground but he was aware that he was using his size to his advantage. You didn’t think he could hold this primal aggression inside of him.

Your chest was pressed against the floor as you felt him grind against you. He whined before saying,

“Now…now…I want you now.”

Syzoth sounded so desperate you wondered if it’s been a long time since he last mated with a woman. That might be why he was more aggressive than you imagined.

“Alright…we can do it now. Do you want to go-“

You were going to ask if he wanted to move this to your bedroom but he was already tearing off your clothes. He didn’t need all of them off he just needed yours and his pants off. He was back to pressing his body against you and you could feel his cock…cocks? Well, guess that answers that question you’ve had in the back of your mind.

One of his cocks pressed against your wet folds while the other rubbed against your clit. Your anatomies aren’t correct but he will make this work. He began pushing his cock inside of you, stretching you out with its thick size. You let out a gasp as your nails clawed at the hardwood floors. Syzoth saw your reaction and thought you might pull away. He decided to pull your shirt to the side and bite down on your shoulder to prevent you from running away. You let out a pained moan as you felt his teeth sink into your flesh. It wasn’t enough to break your skin but it would keep you in place.

His rhythm was constant yet primal. He never took a moment to cool down or take a breather. He kept going in and out as his other cock rubbed your clit. Precum dripped from the tip which landed on the floor. His saliva dripped down your shoulder as his hot breath heated your skin. He let out grunts and groans as he continued fucking you. You were so glad you didn’t have neighbors nearby because you could not handle the noise you were producing.

You knew Syzoth was no regular man but he still managed to blow your mind…and your back out. You didn’t realize that you were drooling and continuously scratching the floor. Your brain was mush from how good Syzoth was making you feel. You could never receive this love from any ordinary man. The only one who could make you a drooling mess and get your full permission to breed you is Syzoth.

His breath grew hotter and quicker. His thrusts grew sloppier. You knew he was close and so were you. You decided to give him a helping hand, literally, and used one of your hands to stroke his other cock. You felt him twitch and groan more before he started going rougher. He was fucking into you while also fucking your hand. He made you cum with him when his last thrust hit your g-spot and you both came. This hot wave ripped through you as your shoulder burned with pain. Syzoth tightened his hold on your waist to keep you in place as he came inside of you. It sure was a lot of cum based on the fact that your hand was covered in it. It still managed to make a mess of the floor.

You both were panting and sweating like you just finished a fight. Syzoth finally let go of your shoulder and licked the teeth marks to soothe your pain.

“You just couldn’t wait, could you?” You teased him.

“You knew what would happen once you walked away. You know me so well, I would think you would be smart enough to not play hard to get.” He teased back.

“I was messing with you, but it seems like that charade didn't last long.”

You both laughed before you tried to get up. Syzoth didn’t allow that. He kept all his weight on you while his arms were still wrapped around your waist. He didn’t pull out.

“Uh…I thought you were supposed to let me go right after we finished.”

“My love, I am more than just an animal. I still need attention. We will stay in this position for a long time.” He snuggled up to you with a satisfied smile on his face.

“Could we at least move this cuddle session to my bedroom?”

“No! Blondi shouldn’t know about this.”

Syzoth, what the fuck is the little lizard gonna do? The lizard doesn’t even understand the concept of dating.

Yap notes: I'm losing motivation again. I'm puffin.

[lelianasbong]

Can't stop thinking about how Wyll and Astarion's physiology was forcibly and irrevocably altered by their abusers into something nominally monstrous, how they both ask the player to be their mirror when they're unable or unwilling to look at themselves. How they desperately want to be what you see in them. Walk with me.

"They say that anyone who bathes in the River of Blood emerges as one born anew. [Being a devil] is a lot like that, I imagine. I feel the weight of these horns on my head, curling upwards like a mammoth's tusks. I feel these ridges snaking down my neck, not to mention a few bumps and prongs in unmentionable places. But I haven't seen my reflection just yet."

"Be my mirror. What do you see?"

"I've never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red. I don't know [what color they were before]. I can't remember. My face is just some dark shape in my past. Another thing I've lost."

"And what do you see, exactly?"

How they want their bodies to feel like their own again. As far as monstrous magical transformations go, Wyll deals with the fallout of his over the course of the game; Astarion dealt with his in the past (undead) and fears it happening again (illithid).

[Wyll burns in the fires of Avernus. The lightning storms of Dis strike his flesh. His soul passes through each layer of the Hells - gaining their essence, and their torment.]

"Just look at me! I did what was right and Mizora made me pay for it."

"In truth, I don't feel in a festive mood, and I didn't want to cast a grey cloud over the night. I'm a devil. I love the people from the grove but I unsettle them deep down, as I seem to unsettle everyone nowadays. You don't want a devil at your party. Claws will pop the balloons, you see. And the sweetcakes don't taste half as good as raw eggs with this blasted forked tongue."

"I'll have to take your word for it [the horns have character]. I've been avoiding my own reflection."

"A man looks in, a devil looks out. I might never get used to it."

"And to think how much time I've spent wishing I could rip them off. (...) Shit. I'm being insensitive. Sorry. They just take some getting used to."

"Hm. I'm still me, I guess. Sort of."

And we have Astarion, who's been there. Who knows.

"I remember how it hurt, when I turned into a vampire. My body writhed and warped while I was utterly helpless. The grip of death owned my heart as it beat its last. I - I don't want to turn into anything else. I can't do that again. I can't watch my body be taken over."

"Just don't ask me to sacrifice my body. It hasn't been mine for very long."